In order to get a job as a zookeeper, a former prostitute must convince the owners of an idyllic wildlife shelter to release their genetically valuable tiger to a questionable city zoo.

The stakes don't match up.

In The Pursuit of Happiness the stakes were made clear, sleep in the subway and starve or put everything on the line. The MC had to make a choice that forced him to either have faith in himself - apply for an unpaid internship in order to get a life changing job, or not believe in himself and give up custody on his son.

What are the stakes in this concept? What is her do or die moment? How will it be made visual?

>>I'm pretty sure i should leave the prostitute thing out of the logline, because it's such a big word that gets so much attention that the actual story is pushed away.

Yep, it's a 'hot' word that stands out from the rest of the text like the emergency red lights ?on a patrol car or ambulance. ? It grabs attention from everything else in the concept.

Maybe she could be a divorced mother, recovering from a violently abusive relationship.

Then , in my mind, there is the matter of possibility versus probability. ?While anything is theoretically possible in a script, given the context ?of a particular story, is it probable -- believable? ?Specifically to this story, in times past, in a less enlightened and humane context, it was more probable that zoo animals were subject to abuse.

But in modern times, zoos (in developed countries anyway) ?are supposed to be managed with more enlightened and human policies and by better trained keepers. ?So how probable is it that a ?trophy animal such as tiger would be subject to abuse? ?( Look at what happened recently at Sea World. ?The management finally saw the light and discontinued the show for their trophy animal, ?their biggest money maker, killer whales, because of realization -- and bad PR -- that they were abusing and exploiting the animals.)

If ?there are stories of such abuse in ?contemporary zoo management -- okay. ?I'm just not aware of it is a probable cause.

Just saying.

>>I'm pretty sure i should leave the prostitute thing out of the logline, because it's such a big word that gets so much attention that the actual story is pushed away.

Yep, it's a 'hot' word that stands out from the rest of the text like the emergency red lights ?on a patrol car or ambulance. ? It grabs attention from everything else in the concept.

Maybe she could be a divorced mother, recovering from a violently abusive relationship.

Then , in my mind, there is the matter of possibility versus probability. ?While anything is theoretically possible in a script, given the context ?of a particular story, is it probable -- believable? ?Specifically to this story, in times past, in a less enlightened and humane context, it was more probable that zoo animals were subject to abuse.

But in modern times, zoos (in developed countries anyway) ?are supposed to be managed with more enlightened and human policies and by better trained keepers. ?So how probable is it that a ?trophy animal such as tiger would be subject to abuse? ?( Look at what happened recently at Sea World. ?The management finally saw the light and discontinued the show for their trophy animal, ?their biggest money maker, killer whales, because of realization -- and bad PR -- that they were abusing and exploiting the animals.)

If ?there are stories of such abuse in ?contemporary zoo management -- okay. ?I'm just not aware of it is a probable cause.

Just saying.