Categories: Drama
I really like this, a significant scientific/historical subject with a great dramatic conflict and storyline.
I think I get what you are going for with "it takes a lifetime"- it's not so much that the movie has to take place over his entire life, but it represents the time and effort he has taken to produce his findings. I think it's possible to describe the same thing in different terms, to avoid any possible misunderstanding about the focus of the movie.
I brainstormed another version of your log, maybe a couple of elements might be useful?
Nicolaus Copernicus creates a new theory of the universe upending all prevailing cultural and religious beliefs about man's place in the universe, ?but self-doubt and the threat?of retribution prevent him from?publishing his life's work until a Protestant Professor also risks persecution and imprisonment to stand by his side.
It sounds like?Copernicus is the protag who goes through a significant character arc, and the professor is the main supporting character that enables his change, even if they get approximately equal screen time.
I tried to make Copernicus a bit more 'active' in the logline, in the previous version he seemed a bit passive.?He would seem to be facing just as much opposition and danger as the professor, regardless of who goes to prison in the plot. I also tried to better connote the forces against him, as his theory was truly revolutionary and turned existing beliefs upside-down.
Hello,
about the movie on Marie Curie (x-ray scientific pioneer), david mamet said that you just want to know why Marie's?dog Skippy is dead. I thinks what you need in your movie is your Skippy dog.
I love the idea of a movie on this subject, and the relationship between the scientist and the protestant is a good angle,
but,
when I read "It takes a lifetime for Nicolaus Copernicus" I'm deadly bored :) For 2 reasons, 1) I'm not interested in a lifetime work that happens before the story starts (and the story starts, for me, when something clear happens, like the meeting with the protestant professor).
2) I would say just "copernicus" not Nicholaus Copernicus, or just Nichoalaus (Amadeus...), but "Nicoalus Copernicus" is a scholar formulation.
You mention a risk of prison, this is when my moviegoer ears rised. But the prison is for the protestant professor... The risk and the stakes belongs mostly to the main character... Wouldn't be better to make the professor the main character? Or, you should include in the logline the stakes for Copernicus not for his mentor.
I would normally agree with the idea that clear stakes as derived from a do or die situation should be preferenced. However, in this instance I seam to find the subject matter intriguing when drawing an analogy to present day science V religion arguments regardless the data specific implications. Any data driven scientific research that is opposed by a belief system of sorts can be seen as an analogy for example stem cell research being delayed? for decades by religious groups, genetic modifications in food sources being resisted by people who believe it is wrong and anti immunization groups.
It is the personal struggles that will be dramatized in Copernicus' story that will make it a compelling journey and the grand meaning of the argument that will make it relevant for today's audiences.
The logline itself though lacks a clear definition of the plot and stakes at hand. Best to specify the inciting incident and goal for Copernicus and clearly mention the stakes.
Hope this helps.
