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Sin and Hawaii make a strange pair but no matter how beautiful things appear when God wants to get your attention, well he gets your attention no matter how hard he has to hit you on the side of the head.
Thanks. That makes sense. I changed it and reposted.
It's best to leave out protag names. Are they angels? What are they trying to achieve? I assume God is the antagonist. How is he keeping them from achieving their goal?
I can't even offer an alternative logline because you don't provide enough information about your story. Like jamesmichael says, it's read more like a tagline, albeit a little long. The hint of a story is intriguing to me though. I'd be interested when you come up with an updated logline.
I'm sorry, I just meant from this website, in the 'write it,' section.
https://loglines.org/howto/ .
It gives an outline of what's needed in a logline.
