Categories: Crime
The Man Who Watches The Watchers
Got that,Bro.
Agree with Nir Shelter that the answers to the basic questions should be in the form or short, easy to read sentences. ?By short I mean, no more than 10 words for each answer. ?And that's just for the first cut, the rough draft. ?That can be tough to do, but that's the purpose of the questions and the answers, to distill the plot down to it's essence, ?to realize ?Ludwig Mies van der Rohe's dictum, "Less is more."
The effort required to compose a concise, clear logline is also a gauge of the concept's marketability in the sense of how easy is it to explain to others. ?Alas, in this era of multitasking, fragment attention spans, you've really only got one opportunity and a few precious seconds to grab and hold movie makers attention.
It ain't the way it ought to be -- but that's the way it is.
Agree with Nir Shelter that the answers to the basic questions should be in the form or short, easy to read sentences. ?By short I mean, no more than 10 words for each answer. ?And that's just for the first cut, the rough draft. ?That can be tough to do, but that's the purpose of the questions and the answers, to distill the plot down to it's essence, ?to realize ?Ludwig Mies van der Rohe's dictum, "Less is more."
The effort required to compose a concise, clear logline is also a gauge of the concept's marketability in the sense of how easy is it to explain to others. ?Alas, in this era of multitasking, fragment attention spans, you've really only got one opportunity and a few precious seconds to grab and hold movie makers attention.
It ain't the way it ought to be -- but that's the way it is.
Thanks Brothers.I am going to work on your
points and come back.
I very much appreciate your support.
Agreed with DPG about the logic flaw of the inciting incident.
I'll add also that, the answers given in your post above, seem skewed to fit the question without actually fulfilling the need of the plot point.
Here is a good example:
" 1) Who is your protagonist ? "
" A renowned ? newspaper columnist and voyeur. "
In this answer you describe a single main character, his job and possibly a flaw - voyeur or peeping Tom.
But here is a bad example:
" 4) What is the inciting incident that kicks off the plot? "
" Witnessing ?him kidnap his arch-rival (the people's choice) , days to elections ,antagonist poisons protagonist but he rather shrinks in size."
In this answer you describe two events, but an inciting incident can only be one event. It's either him being shrunk to a smaller size human, or the kidnap of the politician.
I suggest you re consider the inciting incident and major plot points before drafting the next logline. If it's him getting shrunk (and the logic for this will need a lot of work), then his goal should be to grow back to his normal hight. If it's the kidnapping, then his goal should be save the kidnapped politician.
Thanks for taking the time to answer the basic questions, ?decompose the story into it's primary elements. ?This clarifies the through line of the plot.
Unfortunately, there is one big knot in the through line I am unable to untie and straighten out. I am unable to suspend disbelief and buy into the "diablous ex machina" trope, that the poison causes the protagonist to merely shrink instead of die.
A "diabolous ex machina" trope is the reverse of the "deus ex machina" trope. ?The 'deus" trope involves some arbitrary person, object or event that appears out of the ?nowhere with no explanation, setup or foreshadowing ?and saves the day for the protagonist. In ?contrast, the "diabolus" trope entails some arbitrary person, object or event that appears out of nowhere with no explanation , setup or foreshadowing and?ruins the day?for the protagonist.
Of course, ?you can't explain every critical element of a plot in a logline. ?And?a screenwriter has license to introduce novel and strange elements in the first Act ?(only) of the script ?But before you can use ye ol' "Incredible Shrinking Man" gimmick in the script, you gotta waste valuable page space explaining how it is possible. ?Who concocted the poison? ?Why?
?(And because it's being used, the proper genre to describe the story is either SciFi or Fantasy ?rather than crime.)
A logline should raise curiosity, not questions. ?Unfortunately, the "diabolus ex machina" in this premise, the "shrinking" poison raises more questions than curiosity in my mind. ?Like: ?Why, ?for the purpose of this story, must the character shrink? ?What's the dramatic point of shrinking the character other than making the plot more difficult for him? ?What theme are you trying to explore with this 'diabolous ex machina' trope?
Other people may respond differently, have no problem no questions about the "diabolus" trope. ?But I do.
fwiw
Thanks for taking the time to answer the basic questions, ?decompose the story into it's primary elements. ?This clarifies the through line of the plot.
Unfortunately, there is one big knot in the through line I am unable to untie and straighten out. I am unable to suspend disbelief and buy into the "diablous ex machina" trope, that the poison causes the protagonist to merely shrink instead of die.
A "diabolous ex machina" trope is the reverse of the "deus ex machina" trope. ?The 'deus" trope involves some arbitrary person, object or event that appears out of the ?nowhere with no explanation, setup or foreshadowing ?and saves the day for the protagonist. In ?contrast, the "diabolus" trope entails some arbitrary person, object or event that appears out of nowhere with no explanation , setup or foreshadowing and?ruins the day?for the protagonist.
Of course, ?you can't explain every critical element of a plot in a logline. ?And?a screenwriter has license to introduce novel and strange elements in the first Act ?(only) of the script ?But before you can use ye ol' "Incredible Shrinking Man" gimmick in the script, you gotta waste valuable page space explaining how it is possible. ?Who concocted the poison? ?Why?
?(And because it's being used, the proper genre to describe the story is either SciFi or Fantasy ?rather than crime.)
A logline should raise curiosity, not questions. ?Unfortunately, the "diabolus ex machina" in this premise, the "shrinking" poison raises more questions than curiosity in my mind. ?Like: ?Why, ?for the purpose of this story, must the character shrink? ?What's the dramatic point of shrinking the character other than making the plot more difficult for him? ?What theme are you trying to explore with this 'diabolous ex machina' trope?
Other people may respond differently, have no problem no questions about the "diabolus" trope. ?But I do.
fwiw
A NEW ?APPROACH ?FROM A MENTOR (dpg)
1) Who is your protagonist ?
A renowned ? newspaper columnist and voyeur
2) What is his character flaw?
megalophobic and gun-shy , after accidentally wounding a friend
3) Who is the antagonist? Who poses the primary threat to the protagonist?
An unforgiving , powerful and corrupt politician with dictatorial tendencies
4) What is the inciting incident that kicks off the plot?
Witnessing ?him kidnap his arch-rival (the people's choice) , days to elections ,antagonist poisons protagonist but he rather shrinks in size.
5) As a result of the inciting incident, what becomes your protagonist's objective goal? What must he do about it?
Journey to find ?scientist who made poison for remedy and rescue arch-rival by himself.
6) What's at stake? That is, what does your protagonist stand to gain if he achieves his objective goal, lose if he fails?
antagonist would be arrested,arch-rival would be elected for sanity to prevail
OK.And thanks for the info.
