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Why are the stakes lower for the writer, the protagonist, than for his characters? They get killed off, but he only has to worry about his "liveliehood, family and sanity."
Why are the stakes lower for the writer, the protagonist, than for his characters? They get killed off, but he only has to worry about his "liveliehood, family and sanity."
Why are the stakes lower for the writer than for his characters? They get killed off -- he only has to worry about his "liveliehood, family and sanity."
His characters get murdered but he only has to worry about his "liveliehood, family and sanity" ? Seems to me, he's getting off too easily. The stakes should be no less for him than for his characters: to wit, his own life.
Cheers :-)
Great re-write! Good luck with this.
Great feedback and excellent pun !! Based on your comments, how about this :
When a washed up writer starts living in his office his characters begin appearing in the flesh, but as they are murdered one by one, he must face his dark childhood secrets or risk losing his livelihood, family and sanity.
(40 words)
A 'long' line, nice pun :) !! Thanks for the quick feedback, great stuff. Based on your suggestions, how's this?
When a washed up writer starts living in his office his characters begin appearing in the flesh, but as they are murdered one by one, he must face his dark childhood secrets or risk losing his livelihood, family and sanity.
(40 words)
Very interesting premise but as a logline this is a bit more of a long-line. The prevalent convention is for loglines to stay within 35-40 words. Yours is 58. Consider deleting the second list of what he will lose since you open with that. Or open with "A washed up writer..." By deleting everything before that you cut nine words. Also delete the redundant "his" at the end. Another two words. This brings you to 46! Winner.
