Ramona, an introverted high school girl, unknowingly helps a disguised magical spirit, and in return is awakened to the inevitable destructive fate of her world. Ramona must flee her seemingly protected, privileged city and upbringing, to journey through an impoverished but enchanting land to reach the world’s one true saviour, who is to be found on top of a distant mountain.

Thank you all for the feedback. It is very much appreciated. I have made some adjustments. Let me know what you think...

When a magical spirit reveals the world’s destructive fate, an introverted high school girl must flee her privileged upbringing and journey through an impoverished land to find a saviour, which she later learns is actually herself, and confront the powerful government of the city before the world collapses beneath her feet.

"When she's told by a spirit that her world is about to end, an introverted high schooler must travel to a dangerous enchanted land in order to reach the only being with the knowledge of how to save her world."

Hi Stardustfortheearthlings,

I’ll give this a go…

INTENTION: must journey through impoverished land to reach the world’s true saviour. (And then what? Why must she absolutely do this?)

OBSTACLE: sounds like it would be the journey I think? Could we get clearer and more specific? Does she have to stop/thwart something so that something truly bad doesn’t happen? What must she stop?

With the world on the brink of collapse, a shy teen learns of a prophesied “true saviour of the world”, and journeys across dangerous terrain, to find him, and convince him to fulfil his destiny.

- - this is by no means perfect. However - the intention/goal is a bit more clear, the stakes are high and there’s some conflict. (I’m guessing this guy doesn’t want to be the “saviour of the world” and is reluctant.)