Short Film: A frustrated white collar man, unintentionally undergo a comical journey of social scrutiny and conditioning experiences in the park, leading to his awakening/revelation about the society.

I forgot to mention he's a marketing analyst so yeah that's the key word, he sees people as just consumers, the double edge sword of epiphany that not only treating them more as human would give more personalisation and accuracy in what the consumer wants, but also eliminate negative stereotyping or profiling, something like that. The paradox i was talking about is 2 things, one is the visual cues has a paradox effect for being "obvious" yet "subtle" in its presentation, and second, the double edged conclusion to the story is both marketing epiphany and not because of the morality epiphany it entails.

Okay. But how about making your logline a little more specific?

For example, what if he's more than a "white collar man", he's an advertising account executive or a copy writer? That is, somebody who by just his occupation a logline reader would immediately grasp is tasked with generating marketing ideas.

And what if he's struggling to generate ideas to sell a specific product? Like soap or breakfast cereal. (Extra points if the product is paradoxical or ironic to his epiphany.)

Okay. But how about making your logline a little more specific?

For example, what if he's more than a "white collar man", he's an advertising account executive or a copy writer? That is, somebody who by just his occupation a logline reader would immediately grasp is tasked with generating marketing ideas.

And what if he's struggling to generate ideas to sell a specific product? Like soap or breakfast cereal. (Extra points if the product is paradoxical or ironic to his epiphany.)

To show that, the film is basically have a lot of bombardment of visual cues and visible texts, it's still a dialogue film too, but there's moments when it's purely visual too... it' creates a paradox effect when I think about it.

That's a rather broad philosophical statement to make in only 7 minutes.

I like the spirit of Tony Edward's idea. And it's specific, concrete -- something I can, uh, visualize in my mind's eye, a primary goal of good logline.

"how their identity are more than what the stereotypes suggest" -- what's your visual on that?

That's a rather broad philosophical statement to make in only 7 minutes.

I like the spirit of Tony Edward's idea. And it's specific, concrete -- something I can, uh, visualize in my mind's eye, a primary goal of good logline.

"how their identity are more than what the stereotypes suggest" -- what's your visual on that?