Two recently graduated teens take a summer road trip across the country to find who they are and who they want to be.

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4 reviews

Richiev · Singularity · 58,825 pts

I enjoy a good road movie. However, as others have said, you are missing the hook in your logline. (The thing that will make people want to read your script.)
That doesn't mean there isn't a good hook in your story, it's just that it isn't coming through in your logline.

Former member · Singularity · 114,965 pts

As Mandavirmais said, it's too broad and generic.? ?There's nothing special that stands out, that makes this story different from all the other stories young people suffering from an identity crisis (who am I?) and an existential dilemma (What do I do with my life?)

A logline is a concise summary of a plot.? A plot is the pursuit of an objective goal.? Objective goals are goals that can be shown on a screen because film is a visual medium .

So what's the visual for "who they are"? and "what they want to be"?

dogger · Singularity · 87,055 pts

As Mandavirmais said, it's too broad and generic.? ?There's nothing special that stands out, that makes this story different from all the other stories young people suffering from an identity crisis (who am I?) and an existential dilemma (What do I do with my life?)

A logline is a concise summary of a plot.? A plot is the pursuit of an objective goal.? Objective goals are goals that can be shown on a screen because film is a visual medium .

So what's the visual for "who they are"? and "what they want to be"?