Upon learning that suicide will forbid him entry to Heaven, a religious yet guilt-racked hitman secretly lets the public democratically determine his next target in order to righteously earn the Lord’s favour and then be killed in the process.

"religious yet guilt racked hitman" seems incomprehensible to me. I'd have to see a very very long back story on this one in order to comprehend the meaning of it! Sorry it doesn't ring my bells to examine the story further. Doesn't grab me.

SDMann:
Re: The Travis Bickle character

The screenwriter Paul Schrader did more than create an alienated taxi driver with an urge to kill; he also gave him a redeemable quality: Travis cares enough to try to rescue the young prostitute from her pimp. That "B" story salvages an otherwise seemingly unsalvageable character.

Have you got a redeeming "B" story for your protagonist?

fwiw.

SDMann:
Re: The Travis Bickle character

The screenwriter Paul Schrader did more than create an alienated taxi driver with an urge to kill; he also gave him a redeemable quality: Travis cares enough to try to rescue the young prostitute from her pimp. That "B" story salvages an otherwise seemingly unsalvageable character.

Have you got a redeeming "B" story for your protagonist?

fwiw.