After being framed for assault, an indigenous basketballer from the Australian outback, must prove himself innocent before his scholarship to play for a college in the USA expires.

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10 reviews

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts ★ Accepted

I would raise the stakes as they are not high enough (in my opinion) as it is written now. Firstly, best you specify a person whom would generally be considered as someone facing greater challenges than most people, in other words, a person of a minority background. I suggest you make the character Aboriginal Australian, this will describe the main character as an Australian without needing to specify it and it will assign him a degree of social handicap (whether true or not is irrelevant - it's the perception that matters most). This is his one chance to get a better life...

The other way you could raise the stakes is by making the crime a more severe one such as murder, and changing it so he already has the scholarship - if the deadline is for him to make it to the college by a certain date or forfeit the scholarship there's more for him to lose.

Former member · Singularity · 114,968 pts

>>>It's funny you say aboriginal Australian because that's exactly what he is. I just didn't find it necessary to add into the logline as it stood.

I think it is essential, part of the story hook.

And it certainly matters when it comes to casting.

dogger · Singularity · 87,055 pts

>>>It's funny you say aboriginal Australian because that's exactly what he is. I just didn't find it necessary to add into the logline as it stood.

I think it is essential, part of the story hook.

And it certainly matters when it comes to casting.