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If you had to carve this down, it would be...
When his mother is abducted by sinister agents, a teenage loner must fight back on behalf of humanity.
- So we're missing some stakes/what happens if he doesn't fight back.
Those guys above are right. I think you need to write down a few pages on your thing, what it's about, what will or could happen. It will give you a better understanding of what's going on.
After that the logline will be a lot more precise and specific. You'll be able to carve it down - and then it will look really fucking good.
Good luck.
As Richiev said. ? The plot pivots on the purpose he was genetically engineered for.? Which has me almost hooked on the premise.? Almost, but not quite.? Why?? Because I don't what the evil purpose is.? The story hook needs to be fully baited with the specific nature of the destiny for which he was engineered.? What exactly must he fight against?
Also a plot is not about a character having to choose between "X" or "Y".? It's about the action the follows from choosing either "X" or "Y". ? I'm guessing this is not a story a about an anti-hero who fulfills his genetically determined evil fate.? So it's a no-suspense, no-brainer that he's going to fight on behalf of humanity.? Well,? how?? What becomes his objective goal?
As Richiev said. ? The plot pivots on the purpose he was genetically engineered for.? Which has me almost hooked on the premise.? Almost, but not quite.? Why?? Because I don't what the evil purpose is.? The story hook needs to be fully baited with the specific nature of the destiny for which he was engineered.? What exactly must he fight against?
Also a plot is not about a character having to choose between "X" or "Y".? It's about the action the follows from choosing either "X" or "Y". ? I'm guessing this is not a story a about an anti-hero who fulfills his genetically determined evil fate.? So it's a no-suspense, no-brainer that he's going to fight on behalf of humanity.? Well,? how?? What becomes his objective goal?
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