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3 reviews
It is a bit long. You can tighten it up by being more concrete on the goal and obstacles. (A collision between family and professional life always occurs at company parties, so this bit does not add much to the logline.)
Don't know if this fits your story, but something like this might:
An executive hoping for a promotion organizes a company party, but when an eccentric client shows up, [something happens] and the executive must [do something] to save the party and his career.
Good rough draft rewrite by yqwertz.? There has to be something obvious at stake for the main character.
Good rough draft rewrite by yqwertz.? There has to be something obvious at stake for the main character.