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When the Imperial head chef is beheaded for serving uninventive dishes, the sous chef must obtain a magic cookbook in order to execute a dish pleasing to the Emperor before he and his staff are beheaded.
Hi dpg, I agree with you. I was trying to include an intriguing external goal to imply an exciting outer journey in which the sous-chef would get out of the Imperial palace and into culinary action/adventures. My intention is to have the sous-chef pressured to come up with the life saving dish/disheRead more
Hi dpg, I agree with you. I was trying to include an intriguing external goal to imply an exciting outer journey in which the sous-chef would get out of the Imperial palace and into culinary action/adventures. My intention is to have the sous-chef pressured to come up with the life saving dish/dishes himself after, finding the “magic book” and realizing that it’s a hoax. Maybe even dropping this towards the end of the second act.
I struggled to keep the logline shorter but it would have read something like this:
When the Imperial Kitchen Chief is beheaded for serving uninventive dishes, his under-confident protege must obtain a magic cookbook in order to execute a dish pleasing to the Emperor. But when he discovers the magic cookbook is a hoax he and his staff must come up with something truly tasty before they are all beheaded.
Your thoughts?
See lessWhen the Imperial head chef is beheaded for serving uninventive dishes, the sous chef must obtain a magic cookbook in order to execute a dish pleasing to the Emperor before he and his staff are beheaded.
Hi Francois, thanks for volunteering your opinion. I agree with you that the logline is long, however your solution removes the inciting incident from the logline entirely - and loglines need to have inciting incidents. :-) I'm also missing a flaw for my hero so will need to rework this in.
Hi Francois, thanks for volunteering your opinion. I agree with you that the logline is long, however your solution removes the inciting incident from the logline entirely – and loglines need to have inciting incidents. 🙂 I’m also missing a flaw for my hero so will need to rework this in.
See lessAn epic love story set in a time where a dying scientist is able to upload his consciousness into the internet and, facing its global implications, must fight against the forces who are actively working against the existence of a singularity.
This sounds a lot like something I'm working on...which also sounds like this movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2209764/
This sounds a lot like something I’m working on…which also sounds like this movie:
See lesshttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt2209764/