Sounds like a really, really intriguing idea. I imagine that the killer needs to achieve “real” forgiveness from this victim so he doesn’t have to go to hell and burn forever more. Just want to know more about the victim. Is the victim hateful of our protagonist? Has the victim become religious? The reason why I ask is if the victim is emotionally past this traumatic event or has even become religious, they could forgive and that would be the end of the story. Also wondering about the killer – is the killer self loathing? Does he kill and feel bad about it?

I agree with jamesmichael. You need to pick a single protagonist to drive the story.

Also, from what I can see in the way you have written your log line, the girls’ discovery of their demigoddess/guardian status would be the inciting incident of the story but “discovering” would be an action on part of the girls.

I think you will need to take out “discovery” (action) and change it to something that happens (event) to the girls as an inciting incident.

ie: When a geeky pushover and her friends are bestowed the powers of XYZ, the geeky pushover and her friends will need to fight an evil goddess or the world will be enslaved.

Not the best logline but just want to demonstrate that the inciting incident is something that should happen to a character not something a character does.