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Physics professor Alan Richards inspires his students to look at string theory with a different perspective of authentic knowledge and purpose.
This is the logline from DEAD POETS SOCIETY, with keywords switched out. I just wanted to test a theory. Here's the original: English teacher John Keating inspires his students to look at poetry with a different perspective of authentic knowledge and feeling.
This is the logline from DEAD POETS SOCIETY, with keywords switched out. I just wanted to test a theory.
Here’s the original:
English teacher John Keating inspires his students to look at poetry with a different perspective of authentic knowledge and feeling.
See lessWhen a guy finds the courage for a routine procedure that goes wrong, he must fight inner demons or become another unwilling donor in a human chop shop.
"a guy" -- Too vague. "routine procedure" -- I disagree with Richiev here...we don't need to know what the procedure is, it's just going to add more words and become more of a reason for people to pick this apart. "fight inner demons" -- Makes me think this is a story where we go into his mind whileRead more
“a guy” — Too vague.
“routine procedure” — I disagree with Richiev here…we don’t need to know what the procedure is, it’s just going to add more words and become more of a reason for people to pick this apart.
“fight inner demons” — Makes me think this is a story where we go into his mind while he lays on the operating table, and it turns into a “fantasy” setting. If that’s the case, I’m intrigued. Either way, I think you can find a better way to word it.
“human chop shop” — Calls into question the legitimacy of the hospital/surgeon. It implies that the nightmare-scenario is more than his “inner demons,” which is good, but I feel a disconnect between the two that I can’t really explain.
See lessChildhood friends William and Tucker think they’ve both been hired at a Chicago lifestyle magazine, when only one job materializes and is given to William, rather than tell the truth, William signs his friend up to participate in a social experiment pretending it’s an undercover story for the magazine.
dgp is right. It's way too long. BUT...it makes for a great premise. I'd seriously consider watching it.
dgp is right. It’s way too long. BUT…it makes for a great premise. I’d seriously consider watching it.
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