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When a strange presence steps in their life with the intent to take care of their neglected daughter, her parents will have to get over the divorce trying to show how much do they take care of her before it’s too late.
How about "Upon realizing a paranormal presence taking care of their neglected child, a mother must fix her divorce, before her kid is taken away forever" I edited for an active protagonist (Mother) rather than the passive (daughter) (while the husband could be disbelieving, declaring mother's claimRead more
How about
“Upon realizing a paranormal presence taking care of their neglected child, a mother must fix her divorce, before her kid is taken away forever”
I edited for an active protagonist (Mother) rather than the passive (daughter)
(while the husband could be disbelieving, declaring mother’s claims to be false)
if the spirit isn’t satisfied with their parenting, she will take her daughter away to her own dimension–to be taken care of 😛
Otherwise your concept has great potential
See lessAll the best cesare88!!
In A dystopian society where everyone is born with only one wish, that is regulated by the government, One girl discovers that she has many more than one wish, and slowly, the government catches on…
Because the Inciting Incident is "her discovering she has more than one wish" I'd say.. After discovering she has more than the singular--government regulated--wish people are born with, a girl must ______________ that's where the "dramatic need" of your protagonist lies what MUST she do? PS. I loveRead more
Because the Inciting Incident is “her discovering she has more than one wish” I’d say..
After discovering she has more than the singular–government regulated–wish people are born with, a girl must ______________
that’s where the “dramatic need” of your protagonist lies
what MUST she do?
PS. I love your dystopian premise!
but if it is made clear in the logline (something along the lines) that she must unearth a government secret, then maybe the word “dystopian” need not to be included..
All the best slappymctaco!!
See lessWhen a short-tempered U.S. Marshal with a longstanding grudge against sex offenders humiliates his spiteful new boss, he reluctantly agrees to protect a sadistic child molester standing trial in a hostile family suburb to save his illustrious career.
His short temper got him into this mess And will test him throughout the plot, in the presence of the only thing he cannot stand (some history I guess with child molesters..) I like this dynamic although, what I cannot wrap my head around is: how humiliating his spiteful boss, leads him to agree-howRead more
His short temper got him into this mess
See lessAnd will test him throughout the plot, in the presence of the only thing he cannot stand (some history I guess with child molesters..)
I like this dynamic
although,
what I cannot wrap my head around is: how humiliating his spiteful boss, leads him to agree-however reluctantly-into protecting the molester……….to save his career (???) when he could simply should have asked, to be relieved of this particular duty