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A pacifistic NYPD cadet and a loner detective investigate the source of a new street drug, leading them to a notorious dealer; but they’re just a pawn, and someone much more powerful runs the operation.
As of now, your film reads as: "While investigating a new drug, 2 vigilante are lead to a notorious dealer" Since there's always someone much more powerful running the operation (otherwise why bother with the logline?) Q. Then what happens? As a result, my query is 1. Who is your protagonist, the caRead more
As of now, your film reads as:
“While investigating a new drug, 2 vigilante are lead to a notorious dealer”
Since there’s always someone much more powerful running the operation (otherwise why bother with the logline?)
Q. Then what happens?
As a result, my query is
1. Who is your protagonist, the cadet or the detective?
2. Is “investigating the new drug and reaching the infamous dealer” their inciting incident?
3. What is his/her goal as a result of meeting the dealer?
One additional question that pops is
Why are they “pacifist” and “loner”?
Would tweaking these details change the character-event-goal dynamic of your film?
If not, I suggest you change or remove it
Since its much more important, that his/her goal becomes clear after he/she meets the dealer (if it IS the Inciting Incident)
See lessA paraplegic woman, with no memory what happened, investigates her own past and collides with a nocturnal vigilante who may hold the answers.
When an amnesiac paraplegic investigates... Wait! what specifically is your nocturnal vigilante Doesn't her collision with some one who may hold the answers seem out of place? It could work if you set up the "fiction potential" of your plot from the logline's beginning After encountering a nocturnalRead more
When an amnesiac paraplegic investigates…
Wait! what specifically is your nocturnal vigilante
Doesn’t her collision with some one who may hold the answers seem out of place?
It could work if you set up the “fiction potential” of your plot from the logline’s beginning
After encountering a nocturnal vigilante, an amnesiac paraplegic starts investigates her unusual past only to encounter _____________?
Which brings us to “what is your conflict?” (it might fit in that blank)
See lessWhen a farmer?s wife vanishes, his desperate hunt reveals he?s actually been abducted and his entire town is a construction, built inside an alien craft to prep them for invasion. He must rescue his wife, pregnant with their hybrid child, and escape back home.
rescue his wife and then what? When a farmer's desperate search for his wife dead ends in a realisation that their entire town is an alien prototype--constructed to prep an invasion--he must find a way back home to warn NASA before the real invasion. In this version, there is no wife to be rescued HRead more
rescue his wife and then what?
When a farmer’s desperate search for his wife dead ends in a realisation that their entire town is an alien prototype–constructed to prep an invasion–he must find a way back home to warn NASA before the real invasion.
In this version, there is no wife to be rescued
See lessHe’s the one abducted, along with other “sample”
And yeah, the alien prepping for an invasion is a great conflict!