1. Posted: November 23, 2017In:

    After being framed for the murder of two policemen, Peter, an inocent man with a criminal past, must fight to get his daughter back while running away from the revenge-driven police force and the angered population of the town that has been conditioned by the media to see him as a monster.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Must fight to get his daughter back .... is too vague. Is he taking her on the run? Is it an actual fight, if so, with who?

    Must fight to get his daughter back …. is too vague. Is he taking her on the run? Is it an actual fight, if so, with who?

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  2. Posted: November 19, 2017In:

    A lonely computer programmer, looking for Mr. Right, must find a way to regain access to the empathetic AI, she inadvertently created, which the government has quarantined and designated a security risk.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    For me. You need to tie Mr Right and the AI together. Replace the words and think how it reads. I want to find a Lion so I go and retrieve my lost dog from the pound. These may be related but how. Answer that ?why? and you are on the start of a good rewrite.

    For me. You need to tie Mr Right and the AI together.

    Replace the words and think how it reads. I want to find a Lion so I go and retrieve my lost dog from the pound. These may be related but how.

    Answer that ?why? and you are on the start of a good rewrite.

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  3. Posted: November 14, 2017In:

    A disgruntled actress attempts to renew her U.S. residency by agreeing to help a politician fabricate a personable image in a reality TV show about the Arizona hierarchy.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    What is she disgruntled about. It?s not bad but perhaps there is a better word. In an attempt to renew her US residency and actress must help a politician frabricate a likable personality on a reality TV show but ...... Give her some obstacles or an challenge to overcome.

    What is she disgruntled about. It?s not bad but perhaps there is a better word.

    In an attempt to renew her US residency and actress must help a politician frabricate a likable personality on a reality TV show but ……

    Give her some obstacles or an challenge to overcome.

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