1. Posted: April 15, 2017In:

    WHO FEELS IT KNOWS IT – A couple of high schoolers spend their 4 days of Senior Trip to Jamaica looking for the ghost of Bob Marley.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Don't really need to know how long the trips is. Why are they searching. Use the few saved words and you are done. Two teens wanting to ..... go to Jamaica to find the ghost of Bob Marley. Who and their goal. Minimum for a logline.

    Don’t really need to know how long the trips is. Why are they searching. Use the few saved words and you are done.

    Two teens wanting to ….. go to Jamaica to find the ghost of Bob Marley.

    Who and their goal. Minimum for a logline.

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  2. Posted: April 13, 2017In:

    On the verge of a succession crisis, a good mermaid princess is banished from her kingdom to the human world for her forbidden love of humans; but when her two wicked sisters usurp their father’s throne and destroy each other in a power struggle to rule the kingdom alone, she must choose between humanity and saving her people from the tyranny of her sisters.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    A decision tends not to be enough. This is huge amount of setup. All good but I don't see the story. Is the banishing in the script or just a few pages? What is her goal in life? Try it from that angle.

    A decision tends not to be enough. This is huge amount of setup. All good but I don’t see the story. Is the banishing in the script or just a few pages?

    What is her goal in life? Try it from that angle.

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  3. Posted: April 11, 2017In:

    1892 Mycroft Holmes newly appointed to MI5 investigates a plan to undermine England’s position in Afghanistan not knowing the villains are a young Sherlock and Moriarty.

    Best Answer
    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Thanks Richiev here are three version 1. When Mycroft Holmes is appointed by MI5 to investigate a plan to undermine England, Sherlock ?and his best friend Moriarty must deter his investigation all while sabotaging England?s plans for Afghanistan or 2. A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undRead more

    Thanks Richiev here are three version

    1. When Mycroft Holmes is appointed by MI5 to investigate a plan to undermine England, Sherlock ?and his best friend Moriarty must deter his investigation all while sabotaging England?s plans for Afghanistan
    or

    2. A young Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty plan to undermine England?s holdings in the east to profit from deals in Russia, while Mycroft Holmes is tasked by MI5 find who is responsible, not knowing their involvement.

    or

    3. Sherlock Holmes competitive and resentful of his brother Mycroft sets out with James Moriarty to undermine England?s holding in Afghanistan when Mycroft is appointed by to MI5 to monitor the region.

    I am leaning towards 3 as it brings in motivation, which leads to tone.

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