1. Posted: January 28, 2017In:

    After forgetting to bring Vegemite a group of tourists in the Australian bush land are set upon by carnivorous drop bears and must find a way to survive.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I am an Aussie and this can't be a real post. Possibly a hangover from Australia Day.

    I am an Aussie and this can’t be a real post. Possibly a hangover from Australia Day.

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  2. Posted: January 21, 2017In:

    A French village and pacifist priest must work with a bloodthirsty resistance group to fight invading Nazi’s and save 5000 Jews from extermination using only their Protestant values, an amateur forger and a one-legged female spy. *True Holocaust Story*

    Best Answer
    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    There is a saying with a logline "Sell don't Tell". If you remove "using" onwards you have a pretty good logline. You are selling a story that would make a read want to read more. You have mystery without confusion. I would remove pacifist from in front of priest as they all take a vow to do no harmRead more

    There is a saying with a logline “Sell don’t Tell”.

    If you remove “using” onwards you have a pretty good logline. You are selling a story that would make a read want to read more. You have mystery without confusion.

    I would remove pacifist from in front of priest as they all take a vow to do no harm. I think it is s but like saying a wet fish. But it’s your call.

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  3. Posted: January 21, 2017In:

    A French village and pacifist priest must work with a bloodthirsty resistance group to fight invading Nazi’s and save 5000 Jews from extermination using only their Protestant values, an amateur forger and a one-legged female spy. *True Holocaust Story*

    Best Answer
    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Take the shortest most compelling line through the story. Drop things like the resistance religious beliefs. Pacifist is not needed Priest is good enough. A priest struggles with his belief work with French resistance to save 5000 Jews.

    Take the shortest most compelling line through the story. Drop things like the resistance religious beliefs. Pacifist is not needed Priest is good enough.

    A priest struggles with his belief work with French resistance to save 5000 Jews.

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