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To solve the puzzle of her family disappearance, a fraud investigator must find out the truth about her father who masterminded an international criminal heist
Time to start dropping words. "To fit together the pieces of a...." Could be "To solve..." Dissidence isn't really needed, in my opinion. The puzzle isn't a character, so you don't really need to give much depth.
Time to start dropping words. “To fit together the pieces of a….” Could be “To solve…”
Dissidence isn’t really needed, in my opinion. The puzzle isn’t a character, so you don’t really need to give much depth.
See lessWhen a jealous mother asks her 10 years old geek son to spy on his father,he finds him dating his new teacher and decides to break up the relationship by foiling their every move to save his family from disintegrating.
If you want to keep the mum as a motivation. Spying for his mum a ten year old discover dads affair with his teacher and sets out the ruin the romance instead of telling mum.
If you want to keep the mum as a motivation.
Spying for his mum a ten year old discover dads affair with his teacher and sets out the ruin the romance instead of telling mum.
See lessA fraud investigator must go to Europe and through Siberian catacombs to find out the truth about her father who mastermind an international criminal heist
Andrew has a good point. What does she hope to achieve by find out the truth? How is she going to use this knowledge? It would make it a more compelling Logline. This is a far more compact and better Logline than your previous versions. You have dropped so much of the unneeded detail. Well done. TigRead more
Andrew has a good point. What does she hope to achieve by find out the truth? How is she going to use this knowledge? It would make it a more compelling Logline. This is a far more compact and better Logline than your previous versions. You have dropped so much of the unneeded detail. Well done.
Tighten the line and add the goal and you have a great result.
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