Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A three month pregnant healthcare worker's grim shift at the local psychiatric hospital is disturbed when a possessed patient wants her in horrific fear, at the sight of the demonic being that lives inside her.
Let's say that is a working title, once you sell the script to have no control, American Hustle was originally American Bullshit, Edge of Tomorrow was also released as Live, Die, Repeat. I have changed titles because as the story evolves the title is no longer accurate. I like the wording in your coRead more
Let’s say that is a working title, once you sell the script to have no control, American Hustle was originally American Bullshit, Edge of Tomorrow was also released as Live, Die, Repeat. I have changed titles because as the story evolves the title is no longer accurate.
I like the wording in your comment. Here is an attempt, it will need rewriting to make fit your story better.
A pregnant healcare worker is asked a question by a possessed patient that she is scared to answer, this triggers a ….
Now start the big beats, what happens and how she is forced to fight against it, or her goal and how this challenges her etc.
See lessA young Iranian soldier fleeing his country to seek refuge elsewhere, must escape the clutches of a Thai profiteer, holding him for ransom until his family pays
Him being a soldier has no impact at this point, it will no doubt be important in the story. You could make it important by describe his actions, but currently it has no impact. Being an Australian I know the route taken by fugues from that area down through Asia. But you cannot assume all readers dRead more
Him being a soldier has no impact at this point, it will no doubt be important in the story. You could make it important by describe his actions, but currently it has no impact. Being an Australian I know the route taken by fugues from that area down through Asia. But you cannot assume all readers do. So you have to find a very brief way of getting that across.
Are his parents with him etc? These are questions that may make your line more compelling. The question you should leave the reader is “I wonder how that story plays out” not “what is the story about”.
Is the story about the family raising the money or is it about his attempts to escape?
This has all the hallmarks of a great story. You have to explain how you intend to execute it.
See lessA three month pregnant healthcare worker's grim shift at the local psychiatric hospital is disturbed when a possessed patient wants her in horrific fear, at the sight of the demonic being that lives inside her.
I read the demon being inside the patient. That indicates a rewrite is needed.
I read the demon being inside the patient. That indicates a rewrite is needed.
See less