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  1. Posted: August 17, 2015In: Public

    An incompetent manager but brilliant schemer is late to a meeting and blames his absence on a death in the family of a new employee; paranoid that the company owner will discover all his previous lies, his actions to cover up this lie become more and more radical.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 19, 2015 at 9:23 am

    After lying about a tragedy befalling a staff member a manager must hack more and more elaborate schemes to hide his deception. Or something like that, just hit the big beats.

    After lying about a tragedy befalling a staff member a manager must hack more and more elaborate schemes to hide his deception.

    Or something like that, just hit the big beats.

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  2. Posted: August 19, 2015In: Public

    Unearthly follows the supernatural adventures of two young boys forced to set aside their differences and embark on a road trip in search of the witch that hexed them with a deadly curse.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 19, 2015 at 7:16 am

    I can see this as a series. But "set a side their differences" is a single issue that once resolved would have no impact on the series. Explain why the differences and it could last for years. "Two boys from different sides of the track..." You get the point. Plus give it a angle that would show ongRead more

    I can see this as a series. But “set a side their differences” is a single issue that once resolved would have no impact on the series. Explain why the differences and it could last for years.

    “Two boys from different sides of the track…” You get the point.

    Plus give it a angle that would show ongoing story. Like they are following her trail of carnage… Do they help other cursed people?

    Interested to see more.

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  3. Posted: August 19, 2015In: Public

    A secretive, lonely hitman is asked to perform one last hit when he decides to quit after falling in love with a successful attorney. When the target turns out to be his intended, he must bring all of his skills to bear against everything the mob can throw at him.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on August 19, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Shorten the intro, something like "agreeing to one last job a hitman is given a contract to kill the woman he love..." Even that is a little long. Action films need to get to the action. Describe his aim, not how good he is. "He must kill the mob boss while keeping his former life secret". I hope thRead more

    Shorten the intro, something like “agreeing to one last job a hitman is given a contract to kill the woman he love…” Even that is a little long. Action films need to get to the action.

    Describe his aim, not how good he is.

    “He must kill the mob boss while keeping his former life secret”.

    I hope this helps.

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