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A low-ranking police officer must infiltrate a hostage situation to save his dying wife and their unborn son.
The question I have is why not leave it to the professionals? Why go it alone when you an entire police force backing you up? Plus infiltrate seems the wrong word. An undercover cop infiltrates, this seems more like a raid. I am thinking Die Hard, which I love. But Bruno had a reason to be there. DeRead more
The question I have is why not leave it to the professionals? Why go it alone when you an entire police force backing you up? Plus infiltrate seems the wrong word. An undercover cop infiltrates, this seems more like a raid.
I am thinking Die Hard, which I love. But Bruno had a reason to be there. Define your reasons.
See lessWhen the suicide of Trent Warner is discovered, a group of his friends must fulfill his dying wish by delivering 100 letters he composed before his suicide, in doing so they will discover that Trent Warner?s death is not as simple as the police report makes it out to be.
This an ensemble piece and therefore you should look at expressing the aims and changes members of the group go through. Your last line is a little meaningless as a device to explain your story, it is too ambiguous. Not as simple doesn't mean anything in this context. Was his motivation complex, wasRead more
This an ensemble piece and therefore you should look at expressing the aims and changes members of the group go through. Your last line is a little meaningless as a device to explain your story, it is too ambiguous. Not as simple doesn’t mean anything in this context.
Was his motivation complex, was method different than reported?
Give it a second go and be more fact based and remove the marketing style. The story should sell itself.
See less"When an upper-class rebel is suddenly disinherited by his fed-up father, he struggles to win his father?s approval in order to have his inheritance restored, but his plans derail when he is forcibly drafted to fight in the second US civil war."
The second civil war is confusing. Your story is era independent, a producer could say set it during the Veitnam War at the story could still work. Drop things like "suddenly", it doesn't add, I think you were going for a "without warning" feel, save it for the treatment. Good story. Tighten it andRead more
The second civil war is confusing. Your story is era independent, a producer could say set it during the Veitnam War at the story could still work. Drop things like “suddenly”, it doesn’t add, I think you were going for a “without warning” feel, save it for the treatment.
Good story. Tighten it and post it in the comments.
PS, I guess the Army does make him a different person despite his original plans?
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