1. Posted: March 23, 2015In:

    A woman's ghost appears to her husband to try and prevent his suicide and convince him to go on living. The longer she stays the less chance she has of entering heaven and the harder it is for him to move on.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Thanks. Condensing is my weakest skill. She knows his suicide will condemn him. He is so depressed that he can't go on. But like a bad break up, having her around is just making things worse. She is stuck with a number of bad options. Leave and watch him self destruct, stay and save him, but condemnRead more

    Thanks. Condensing is my weakest skill.

    She knows his suicide will condemn him. He is so depressed that he can’t go on. But like a bad break up, having her around is just making things worse. She is stuck with a number of bad options. Leave and watch him self destruct, stay and save him, but condemn her own soul.

    The main theme is sacrifice.

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  2. Posted: March 20, 2015In:

    A young British academic visiting America and a besotted underage runaway evade exposure by passing themselves off as uncle and niece while travelling the country together:think Pygmalion/Lolita

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    I can see this. If you are familiar with Lolita, James Mason a mature english man is besotted by a 15 year old girl that uses sex (and the promise of sex) to toy with him. She is manipulative and he shows himself to be foolish from under his proper english exterior. The modern version came across crRead more

    I can see this. If you are familiar with Lolita, James Mason a mature english man is besotted by a 15 year old girl that uses sex (and the promise of sex) to toy with him. She is manipulative and he shows himself to be foolish from under his proper english exterior. The modern version came across creepy.

    While Pygmalion has Rex Harrison (My fair Lady, same story) teacher her that she can be more than her environment has taught her to be. He wants to teach her a trick (to speak correctly) but she gets far more out of it.

    I can see combining these two aspects makes for an exchange of power between the two characters in a dare I say it “Win Win” situation. They can both grow through this relationship and perhaps this makes them codependent.

    Great concept. Not sure how to get all that across without referencing previous works for context.

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  3. Posted: March 19, 2015In:

    In a leisure female-only Utopia where sex is the only taboo, a willful girl must escape from her restrained community to join her lover who has been sent away.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Perhaps a discussion larger than this logline. Isn't it possible that the concept of not reaching your goal also the Stakes? Must find food, would imply or you starve. Can the antagonist be society or the environment, I think of "Castaway", Tom Hanks all alone. Loglines sell the story, not tell theRead more

    Perhaps a discussion larger than this logline. Isn’t it possible that the concept of not reaching your goal also the Stakes? Must find food, would imply or you starve. Can the antagonist be society or the environment, I think of “Castaway”, Tom Hanks all alone.

    Loglines sell the story, not tell the story. I acknowledge that these should be in a logline, but sometimes you can only stand out by being different. Tarantino was Tarantino from his first script.

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