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A monster turns on his creator, leaving the creator's son to hunt it down before it can find his sister and make her it's bride.
I like Richiev's alternative logline, though it is a couple words over the limit.
I like Richiev’s alternative logline, though it is a couple words over the limit.
See lessA kid named Jack who comes from a devout mormon family who all wear the infamous Magic Underwear starts going to kindergarten and starts getting bullied and after that he starts questioning his faith.
The story feels ambiguous to me as mention of the magic underwear suggests a bit of surrealism injected into an otherwise real story and I'm not clear if that is your intention or not. Therefore, I don't get a sense of what the story will achieve. When bullied at school for his Mormon faith, a youngRead more
The story feels ambiguous to me as mention of the magic underwear suggests a bit of surrealism injected into an otherwise real story and I’m not clear if that is your intention or not. Therefore, I don’t get a sense of what the story will achieve.
When bullied at school for his Mormon faith, a young boy questions his faith by rebelling only to learn his magic underwear really is magic and gives him super powers that help him deal with the bullies.
A point of contention: I wonder if a 6-year-old would have the intelligence and awareness to question his faith. Perhaps your hero could be older?
See lessWhen a suicidal girl meets an inmate calming to be a superhero, she must save him before his nemesis can gain control of his powers.
This satisfies the 25 word limit quite nicely but I wonder if you could replace 'meets' with something like 'befriends in a chat room' or some other verb that is more descriptive of how they 'meet'. SImilarly with the words 'save him' - save him how? Would a better action be 'spring him' or 'rescueRead more
This satisfies the 25 word limit quite nicely but I wonder if you could replace ‘meets’ with something like ‘befriends in a chat room’ or some other verb that is more descriptive of how they ‘meet’. SImilarly with the words ‘save him’ – save him how? Would a better action be ‘spring him’ or ‘rescue him’ or ‘release him’ perhaps? In any event, you have your main event, your main character and main action but just something a tad more descriptive would satisfy me. I say this in the knowledge you will likely go over the 25 word limit. Oh well…
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