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After being the sole survivor of a gangland style drugstore robbery. A charismatic youth pastor retires and plots to kill the ones who left him for dead.
This is very strong. However, I think the youth pastor taking revenge for the ones that didn't survive might be interesting as well. Could create an interesting moral dilemma for the story.
This is very strong. However, I think the youth pastor taking revenge for the ones that didn’t survive might be interesting as well. Could create an interesting moral dilemma for the story.
See lessLiving in a war-torn environment, three resistance fighters who are also best friends sworn to overthrow the tyrant in order to restore their homeland's independence.
I think there's a strong idea here but the stakes need to be higher and the goal a little more personal. Perhaps the three resistance fighters could be trapped in the war-torn environment and the only way to get home is to help overthrow the tyrant (helping the people get their freedom could be someRead more
I think there’s a strong idea here but the stakes need to be higher and the goal a little more personal. Perhaps the three resistance fighters could be trapped in the war-torn environment and the only way to get home is to help overthrow the tyrant (helping the people get their freedom could be something they come to do within the script). Also, something I’ve learned from being on here, you should probably have the logline focus on one character with the others mentioned briefly.
See lessFour teenage urban explorers must walk six miles through the dangerous ruins of Detroit to reach a pay phone after getting robbed in the city?s abandoned underbelly.
I think this is a pretty good idea. However, I think it needs one main character to be the focus and she/he should have a flaw to overcome. Maybe he or she could be leading his/her friends out of the city and he/she has never had to be a leader before. Also, the inciting incident - getting robbed inRead more
I think this is a pretty good idea. However, I think it needs one main character to be the focus and she/he should have a flaw to overcome. Maybe he or she could be leading his/her friends out of the city and he/she has never had to be a leader before. Also, the inciting incident – getting robbed in the city’s abandoned underbelly – should go first and there should be greater stakes in the overall logline. This is just an example but something alone the lines like this:
Getting robbed in the city’s abandoned underbelly, a timid high school student must lead his three friends through the dangerous ruins of Detroit before they are discovered by rivaling gangs.
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