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After being framed for assault, an indigenous basketballer from the Australian outback, must prove himself innocent before his scholarship to play for a college in the USA expires.
"After being set up for a crime which forces him on the run, a young mind blowing basketball player must prove his innocence, before an opportunity to travel to the USA and play for a scholarship expires." I think you can cut the "forces him on the run" part. After being framed for a crime, a youngRead more
“After being set up for a crime which forces him on the run, a young mind blowing basketball player must prove his innocence, before an opportunity to travel to the USA and play for a scholarship expires.”
I think you can cut the “forces him on the run” part.
After being framed for a crime, a young basketball player must prove his innocence before a scholarship to a USA college expires. ?(22)
See less?A cop and his K-9 companion unintentionally hijack a billion dollar drug shipment from a ruthless cartel that will stop at nothing to get it back.
Assuming that the cop is not corrupt and is trying to take the drugs legally, perhaps the inciting incident should be tweaked. Rather than be when he acquires the drugs, it should be the moment the cartel first tries to get them back. Example:?When a truck carrying seized drugs is attacked, a cop muRead more
Assuming that the cop is not corrupt and is trying to take the drugs legally, perhaps the inciting incident should be tweaked. Rather than be when he acquires the drugs, it should be the moment the cartel first tries to get them back.
Example:?When a truck carrying seized drugs is attacked, a cop must transport the drugs to the police station before a cartel can take them back. (25)
So while he’s in the process of getting them secure he’s attacked . I think that would fix the concern DPG raised about the standard procedure to get them booked ASAP. ?Onscreen it could be as simple as the truck has a GPS, or the cartel has people all over place who are able to identify it.
See less?A cop and his K-9 companion unintentionally hijack a billion dollar drug shipment from a ruthless cartel that will stop at nothing to get it back.
I think you're getting too hung up on the K-9. Sure, the dog may be a major part of the script, but like Nir Shelter said it immediately brings to mind a more comedic story, but the way you have it now including the K-9 in the logline is unnecessary. The cop is the protagonist. Why would a police ofRead more
I think you’re getting too hung up on the K-9. Sure, the dog may be a major part of the script, but like Nir Shelter said it immediately brings to mind a more comedic story, but the way you have it now including the K-9 in the logline is unnecessary. The cop is the protagonist.
Why would a police officer steal drugs? If he was doing his job he would be getting evidence or whatever to be able to make arrests. If he’s stealing it, then indicate that he’s corrupt. Why only one night? The cartel will stop at nothing to get it back…as long as it’s tonight? And how in the world is Detroit just ‘abandoned’?
The second one has the first problem as your first version. What is the specific objective goal of the cop? In the very first version you had it so that the cop unintentionally finds these drugs, so whatever situation he’s in, it would probably mean it’s a legal seizure. But if he just steals them? What’s the point, unless he’s corrupt? A simple solution would be to have the cop pull over whoever is driving the truck, or have him legally be able to search the truck and find the drugs, and then seize them.
Example: ?When a routine traffic stop ends in the seizure of a truck full of synthetic drugs, a cop must transport it to police custody before a ruthless cartel takes it back. (31)
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