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Geeart1
Okay, it's clearer now. To establish the goal you use the inciting incident. ?What specific action is going make the character spring into action? (Ex: Bruce Wayne's parents are murdered in front of him.) Now, you said "Establish world unity by creating a ubiquitous intelligent agent" ?What is thisRead more
Okay, it’s clearer now. To establish the goal you use the inciting incident. ?What specific action is going make the character spring into action? (Ex: Bruce Wayne’s parents are murdered in front of him.)
Now, you said “Establish world unity by creating a ubiquitous intelligent agent” ?What is this intelligent agent? ?How will it establish world unity? Basically, who/what is the antagonist causing the need to establish unity, who is causing conflict? Now here is where my earlier point comes in about taking liberties, even if there isn’t someone/something(such as a government agency or group or something) in real life, for dramatic effect you can create one who creates the conflict.
A logline is 30 word or less description of the essence of the story. But you’re still giving too much information. In simple terms:
Inciting incident:?When…(a specific action that logically leads to…
Action: An autistic savant must…(what, specifically does he do? What is the intelligent agent? Describe what it accomplishes, and how it leads to him being able to achieve…
Goal:? To establish world unity.?(what does that mean? What is the world divided because of? What problem is he fixing?
You don’t need backstory, no questions at the end, in one sentence, less than 30 words, what is the story about?
See lessHope this helps.
Geeart1
" the fact that I?m currently living my story" That means that you're facing a problem many writers face: attachment to their story. A lack of objectivity. They think?every detail is important, and in a lot of cases if they receive feedback they are reluctant to take it because to them everything isRead more
” the fact that I?m currently living my story”
See lessThat means that you’re facing a problem many writers face: attachment to their story. A lack of objectivity. They think?every detail is important, and in a lot of cases if they receive feedback they are reluctant to take it because to them everything is important. But since you’re basing this on your own life it could become more severe than a fictional account.
In other words, you summed it up in an earlier post: “To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion.” Of
So, one suggestion I have for the script: This story is not about you. It’s about a character. It’s not?your backstory; it’s your character’s. ?You can’t possibly recreate every aspect of your life in a movie, so don’t try. In fact, take liberties with it. It’s?based?on a true story, that doesn’t mean it has to be exactly what happened. In fact, most likely what actually happened isn’t dramatic enough.
Actually, that idea reminds of me of a book I read, where a man is able to pull objects out of books. But he can’t pull out a living thing because it’s too complicated, and the author couldn’t capture the complexity of a living thing. It’s the same concept here. A story is supposed to be dramatic, high stakes, characters who are interesting and motivated. And be told in two hours.
Now, as DPG said the problem still needs to be distilled down. What is really, really the problem? For example, in The Dark Knight, The Joker is terrorizing Gotham, and because of that problem, Batman must stop him. Or, in logline form:
When the Joker robs a bank Batman must find him and stop him before he tears the city apart with acts of terrorism.
Hope this helps.
Geeart1
Well, even you're not nonverbal you should find a short way to state?your trouble with verbal communication. ?Nonverbal is the shortest way I can think of, even if it's not entirely accurate. "To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion." In the script, sure, in the loglRead more
Well, even you’re not nonverbal you should find a short way to state?your trouble with verbal communication. ?Nonverbal is the shortest way I can think of, even if it’s not entirely accurate.
See less“To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion.”
In the script, sure, in the logline you want to convey the hook of your story in the shortest way possible. And that means, unless the backstory is absolutely necessary to understand the plot(actually that brings to mind a film I watched recently, “Watchmen”. The film was almost 3 hours long because it chose to go deep into character backstories that weren’t necessary to the plot. It wasn’t subtle. I’m not saying that’s what your script is but the backstory bit brought that film to mind.) then it doesn’t need to be in the logline.
To me the problem in your post is that you focus too much on the backstory but I have no real sense of the plot. The plot is vague. What problems? What exactly do humans need to be saved from? What is the character doing to solve this problem? What motivated him to solve this problem in the first place?
Define the plot with specifics and I’ll be able to help more by providing a suggestion for a logline.