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An orphaned young woman discovers she’s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.
"Problem I?m running into is, wouldn?t trying to survive, be the plot?? At least that?s the way I?m thinking of it." Well,?is?that the plot? Is the plot surviving or fighting? As for the age, personally(as a 17 year old male) I have grown a bit tired of the constant coming of age stories(at least deRead more
“Problem I?m running into is, wouldn?t trying to survive, be the plot?? At least that?s the way I?m thinking of it.”
Well,?is?that the plot? Is the plot surviving or fighting?
As for the age, personally(as a 17 year old male) I have grown a bit tired of the constant coming of age stories(at least definitely in books, I’m not sure about many in film). Perhaps mostly because of 1) The Chosen One shtick, at least when it is used as deus ex machina, and also often leads to 2) The Mighty Whitey trope, where a white male(I don’t ever recall a female being used in this way) has to save the incompetent dark people, using their own weapons and culture better than they do. ?And also 3) The stories often rush the discovery and mastery of the powers.
However, I think Star Wars is pretty good at it. Luke doesn’t even face Vader in the first movie, and then he is defeated still in the second, and in the last he doesn’t defeat the more powerful Emperor, but Vader does. Luke’s ?progression of power is believable, he wouldn’t realistically be able to defeat Vader or Palpatine, after their years of practice.
Since you mention Hunger Games, I actually think you could use an element of that. Rather than have her completely unknowing of her power, which leads to an unbelievably quick mastery of said power, you could have her have some knowledge of it. Katniss is already adept at archery, your character could be adept at least a trick or two, which she has used in her life, but then she discovers more as the story moves along.
Another angle you could think of is she abandoned her powers long ago because of a traumatic experience, and now she has to reluctantly embrace them to save the world, in this case I think 20-something would definitely work. As a teen she used her powers and did something horrible, and then she tried to forget about it.
Then again, that could be an idea for a ?sequel.
As for the actual logline, it should simply include:
Inciting incident, possibly. What specific action pushes her into action, what event shapes her goal? Example being Luke’s family being killed.
What is the goal? What does the climax of the film resolve?
What is the first action she takes in achieving that goal? (In other words, Luke goes with Ben Kenobi to deliver R2 after his family is killed )
See lessAn orphaned young woman discovers she’s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.
"An orphaned young woman discovers she?s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her." This still doesn't describe the plot. You really only describe the inciting incident and nothing else. So, quite simplyRead more
“An orphaned young woman discovers she?s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.”
This still doesn’t describe the plot. You really only describe the inciting incident and nothing else. So, quite simply all you need to add is what her goal becomes after she discovers this, which is of course implied, but still you don’t describe it.
Example:?After?an Alien warrior reveals that his species’s army is coming to capture her, an alien-human hybrid must use her powers to stop the forthcoming invasion.?(~26 words)
I removed the orphan part because the more interesting part is the discovery of her actual heritage and power. My example is still a bit vague, though. What does she need to do in order to stop the invasion?
On another note, since in your last version you mentioned a prequel to this, I am curious about what that story is about.
See less(REVISED) When an antisocial apocalypse ?prepper? is the only person in her small town uninfected by a virus transmitted through the trial of a ?telepathic phone?, she must stop preparing for the world?s end and start saving it.
"When a virus spreads through a small town making everyone dangerously impulsive, an apocalypse ?prepper? must stop preparing for the world?s end and find a cure to save her town." Better. But cut some words out. Example:?When a deadly virus infects her small town, an apocalypse prepper must find aRead more
“When a virus spreads through a small town making everyone dangerously impulsive, an apocalypse ?prepper? must stop preparing for the world?s end and find a cure to save her town.”
Better. But cut some words out.
Example:?When a deadly virus infects her small town, an apocalypse prepper must find a way to cure it and stop it from spreading.?(~23 words)
But what specifically does she do? In my earlier example, I said use the supplies she’s hoarded. Is it something similar? Must she find an uninfected doctor? What is it?
See less