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An orphaned young woman discovers she’s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.
"Problem I?m running into is, wouldn?t trying to survive, be the plot?? At least that?s the way I?m thinking of it." Well,?is?that the plot? Is the plot surviving or fighting? As for the age, personally(as a 17 year old male) I have grown a bit tired of the constant coming of age stories(at least deRead more
“Problem I?m running into is, wouldn?t trying to survive, be the plot?? At least that?s the way I?m thinking of it.”
Well,?is?that the plot? Is the plot surviving or fighting?
As for the age, personally(as a 17 year old male) I have grown a bit tired of the constant coming of age stories(at least definitely in books, I’m not sure about many in film). Perhaps mostly because of 1) The Chosen One shtick, at least when it is used as deus ex machina, and also often leads to 2) The Mighty Whitey trope, where a white male(I don’t ever recall a female being used in this way) has to save the incompetent dark people, using their own weapons and culture better than they do. ?And also 3) The stories often rush the discovery and mastery of the powers.
However, I think Star Wars is pretty good at it. Luke doesn’t even face Vader in the first movie, and then he is defeated still in the second, and in the last he doesn’t defeat the more powerful Emperor, but Vader does. Luke’s ?progression of power is believable, he wouldn’t realistically be able to defeat Vader or Palpatine, after their years of practice.
Since you mention Hunger Games, I actually think you could use an element of that. Rather than have her completely unknowing of her power, which leads to an unbelievably quick mastery of said power, you could have her have some knowledge of it. Katniss is already adept at archery, your character could be adept at least a trick or two, which she has used in her life, but then she discovers more as the story moves along.
Another angle you could think of is she abandoned her powers long ago because of a traumatic experience, and now she has to reluctantly embrace them to save the world, in this case I think 20-something would definitely work. As a teen she used her powers and did something horrible, and then she tried to forget about it.
Then again, that could be an idea for a ?sequel.
As for the actual logline, it should simply include:
Inciting incident, possibly. What specific action pushes her into action, what event shapes her goal? Example being Luke’s family being killed.
What is the goal? What does the climax of the film resolve?
What is the first action she takes in achieving that goal? (In other words, Luke goes with Ben Kenobi to deliver R2 after his family is killed )
See lessAn orphaned young woman discovers she’s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.
"An orphaned young woman discovers she?s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her." This still doesn't describe the plot. You really only describe the inciting incident and nothing else. So, quite simplyRead more
“An orphaned young woman discovers she?s only half human when an Alien warrior is unleashed on earth to destroy the only weapon capable of stopping the forthcoming invasion, her.”
This still doesn’t describe the plot. You really only describe the inciting incident and nothing else. So, quite simply all you need to add is what her goal becomes after she discovers this, which is of course implied, but still you don’t describe it.
Example:?After?an Alien warrior reveals that his species’s army is coming to capture her, an alien-human hybrid must use her powers to stop the forthcoming invasion.?(~26 words)
I removed the orphan part because the more interesting part is the discovery of her actual heritage and power. My example is still a bit vague, though. What does she need to do in order to stop the invasion?
On another note, since in your last version you mentioned a prequel to this, I am curious about what that story is about.
See lessFollowing a career-defining launch of a state of the art submarine, a high-ranking U. S. government official finds her life turned upside down after she learns that her estranged husband is hunting her.
"Following a career-defining launch of a state of the art submarine, a high-ranking U. S. government official finds her life turned upside down after she learns that her estranged husband is hunting her." Take a look at the Training tab at the top of the page for some structure guides. The part wherRead more
“Following a career-defining launch of a state of the art submarine, a high-ranking U. S. government official finds her life turned upside down after she learns that her estranged husband is hunting her.”
Take a look at the Training tab at the top of the page for some structure guides.
The part where her husband tries to kill her should be framed as the inciting incident. Then, what does she do after that?
Example:?When she is shot by her husband…
See lessThen what must she do?