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I.E.D is a dramatic thriller about an environmental engineer taken hostage and forced to pilot a car rigged with explosives across country. Now he must escape his captor before this rolling bomb reaches it?s destination – transcontinental oil pipeline.
"I.E.D is a dramatic thriller about an environmental engineer taken hostage and forced to pilot a car rigged with explosives across country. Now he must escape his captor before this rolling bomb reaches it?s destination ? transcontinental oil pipeline." No need to mention the title in the logline.Read more
“I.E.D is a dramatic thriller about an environmental engineer taken hostage and forced to pilot a car rigged with explosives across country. Now he must escape his captor before this rolling bomb reaches it?s destination ? transcontinental oil pipeline.”
See lessNo need to mention the title in the logline.
My version: When an engineer is taken hostage and forced to drive a car rigged with explosives, he must escape his captor before the he reaches the transcontinental oil pipeline. (~28 words)
Your version has unnecessary title and description of the film, and I trimmed it down a bit more as well.
A lawsuit for his wife?s injury offers a homeless group leader a ticket out? until a member of his flock threatens to testify. Now he must resort to extreme measure to stop him.
"A prospective lawsuit for his wife?s serious injury offers a leader of small homeless group a sudden ticket out of homelessness. That is until a member of his flock threatens to testify against their case. How far is he willing to go to silence this newly found ?witness??" It would probably be bestRead more
“A prospective lawsuit for his wife?s serious injury offers a leader of small homeless group a sudden ticket out of homelessness. That is until a member of his flock threatens to testify against their case. How far is he willing to go to silence this newly found ?witness??”
See lessIt would probably be best to make another post with a revised logline. However, under 30 words, what the logline should be is an answer to “How far is he willing to go to silence this newly found ?witness??”
You shouldn’t ask a question in the logline. The logline is used to help you pitch your idea to someone who will be able to get it made.
As I said before in previous reviews: Whata is his goal, and how does he achieve it? That’s all you need in the logline, other than absolute essential exposition.
Example: When a homeless man’s wife is injured in a store, he sues them in the hope that he get enough money to pull themselves out of homelessness. (~27 words)
While not great, it does have a goal(to get out of homelessness) and his action(suing).
A war torn soldier riddled with guilt and PTSD must face his mind, and his mental image of himself only to fail when the guilt of him killing an innocent woman gets the better of him.
What is the character's objective goal? As a movie/tv show, we cannot see into his head to tell that is facing his mind. We need a goal we can see. "him killing an innocent woman gets the better of him." This seems to be what the story is about. What does him killing this woman cause him to do? DoesRead more
What is the character’s objective goal? As a movie/tv show, we cannot see into his head to tell that is facing his mind. We need a goal we can see. “him killing an innocent woman gets the better of him.” This seems to be what the story is about. What does him killing this woman cause him to do? Does he want to evade the police? Does he want to find her family so he can apologize? What is his objective goal?
See lessThen, what does he do to reach his goal?
Example: When a soldier suffering PTSD finds a letter on a woman he accidentally kills, he follows the letter’s instructions to return a pendant to its owner.
He has a clear goal in this example, to return the pendant. How? He follows the letter’s instructions.