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In 1951,a physicist tasked with designing an early thermonuclear bomb, has a lesbian affair with her young lab assistant.She’s determined to complete the difficult design while struggling for survival when she discovers her lover to be a ruthless Soviet spy
The plot of the story to me, is that this physicist is making the bomb. How is she struggling for her life? Be specific. I would cut the love affair angle from the logline altogether, that's a subplot, the main plot would be the assisstant being a spy. Also, it seems to me that the spy reveal wouldRead more
The plot of the story to me, is that this physicist is making the bomb. How is she struggling for her life? Be specific. I would cut the love affair angle from the logline altogether, that’s a subplot, the main plot would be the assisstant being a spy. Also, it seems to me that the spy reveal would come late in the story, so that kind of twist doesn’t need to be in the logline necessarily.
See lessYou need to include a plot in the logline.
Something like:In 1951, a physicist is given 24 hours to build a thermonuclear bomb to stop her son from being killed.
I ?used ideas from your logline, but this is my own creation.?This has stakes, a clear goal, and the plot.
A lawsuit for his wife?s injury offers a homeless group leader a ticket out? until a member of his flock threatens to testify. Now he must resort to extreme measure to stop him.
Well, yes, for the logline focusing on one character may be beneficial. But if they all have the same objective goal, then the logline could go without a focus character. I suppose Avengers is a bad example because it's established the characters before and such, but anyway, the logline wouldn't beRead more
Well, yes, for the logline focusing on one character may be beneficial. But if they all have the same objective goal, then the logline could go without a focus character. I suppose Avengers is a bad example because it’s established the characters before and such, but anyway, the logline wouldn’t be “After an agent dies, Tony Stark must stop Loki…” Because the focus isn’t on Stark(though Stark and Cap probably have the most screentime between the two of them). A better one that includes all of the characters would be something like, “After an agent is killed, six superheroes must come together to stop Loki…” That’s all I meant, really.
See lessNow, if one character is really the inciting character, say framing Nick Fury as the protagonist, “When a ?threat arises, Nick Fury must get six superheroes to come together to stop the threat. ”
I suppose it really just depends on the story.
A lawsuit for his wife?s injury offers a homeless group leader a ticket out? until a member of his flock threatens to testify. Now he must resort to extreme measure to stop him.
"you need a lead character and the lead character must want something" In this case I disagree, while maybe for a new writer tackling a story with no lead may prove to be challenging.(and I don't know torgodog's experience, so no comment there) But at least this idea leads itself to not really focusRead more
“you need a lead character and the lead character must want something”
See lessIn this case I disagree, while maybe for a new writer tackling a story with no lead may prove to be challenging.(and I don’t know torgodog’s experience, so no comment there) But at least this idea leads itself to not really focus more on one character. The story is specifically about the interaction between all the characters, so focusing on one character would put the other characters(like I said before, possibly diverse characters) in smaller roles. The film would end up being more about the MC’s relationships with the others, as opposed to giving all the conflicts equal time to develop.
That’s my opinion, anyway.