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When her plants succumb to a disease, a mute girl, haunted by visions, must find resistant seeds in a violent post-apocalyptic world.
"When her plants succumb to a disease, a mute girl, haunted by visions, must find resistant seeds in a violent post-apocalyptic world." I think this concept has potential, even though it is similar to other post-apocalyptic stories. My recommendation is to give the protagonist a grander motivation.Read more
“When her plants succumb to a disease, a mute girl, haunted by visions, must find resistant seeds in a violent post-apocalyptic world.”
I think this concept has potential, even though it is similar to other post-apocalyptic stories. My recommendation is to give the protagonist a grander motivation. Are the plants a food source? Does she have some kind of personal connection to them? Is there something special?
What is the antagonistic force? I can guess, but that’s an important part that should be included in the logline. Are there some sort of mutated animals, or other sci-fi element, or just the usual (pretty cliche at this point) group of apathetic survivors who are either a) rapists b) cannibals or c) just violent people, or otherwise some sort of combination.
Here’s an example I’m making up:? After her crops die from disease, a mute girl must search for resistant seeds in a world decimated by nuclear war. (21)
I hope this helps.
See less“the sleight of hand”
While defending himself is a goal, or more specifically, to survive, it still puts him in the position of being reactive. In order to defend himself, he first has to be attacked. Which I think is fine for an initial goal, but how does that change into a goal which makes him-the protagonist- the oneRead more
While defending himself is a goal, or more specifically, to survive, it still puts him in the position of being reactive. In order to defend himself, he first has to be attacked. Which I think is fine for an initial goal, but how does that change into a goal which makes him-the protagonist- the one who is proactive? The one who drives the plot.
Look at ?Logan?, the film which Hugh Jackman says will be be his last turn as Wolverine. Without spoiling the film, Logan?s goal is to deliver the girl to a place, while also defending her. By giving him a destination the film gives him an active goal to pursue, even as he fights off the antagonists.
Since Star Wars is once again dominating the box office, I think this video essay?which, at one part, talks about the differences between how active and passive protagonists affect a story, is particularly relevant. While I don?t necessarily agree with some of the points as they are applied to the film, I do think the points he makes are correct regardless, especially applied to some other films.
My point is that for this logline, the goal which makes your character a proactive protagonist is more important than an initial goal that is a reaction to the antagonist and inciting incident.
Here?s an example using elements from your logline:?After a magic trick turns his camera into a magical weapon, an ambitious journalist investigates a group of street magicians who are actual wizards for his next story. (28)
I changed the goal to him investigating, because not only does it tie in to his journalism career, but it also gives him an active goal. He chooses to actively investigate, to which the wizards must react. Since you seem to be going in the direction of the wizards trying to kill the protagonist, I ask why? Why exactly do they want to keep their magic a secret?
See lessSomething I do is to make a separate logline from the point of view of the antagonist. If you were to do that, then what is their motivation?
I hope this helps.
“the sleight of hand”
"After following a street magician, the broke journalist gets haunted by a small group of wizards for discovering it wasn?t just a sleight of hand." This logline puts the inciting incident last. A problem I see is with the antagonists. Why do these wizards care? What do they gain by haunting him? IfRead more
“After following a street magician, the broke journalist gets haunted by a small group of wizards for discovering it wasn?t just a sleight of hand.”
This logline puts the inciting incident last. A problem I see is with the antagonists. Why do these wizards care? What do they gain by haunting him? If they have a problem with a someone learning about magic, why not kill or kidnap him? Doesn’t haunting just clear any doubt from his mind of what he saw? Basically, what is the motivation of the antagonists?
See lessThe bigger problem, though, is that the protagonist himself displays no motivation, pursues no goal of his own. As a result of discovering that magic is real, what does he do?
In response to your question “how do I make him (just a journalist) fight real wizards?” My answer is: Why does he need to fight them in the first place?
“can i make his camera *magical after a ?spell gone wrong?, for him to find out later?” It’s your story, you can do what you want. I would recommend something like that if you want this character to battle experienced wizards.
I hope this helps.