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Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood.
"Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood." The inciting incident does not have causal relationship with the goal the protagonist sets. How does killing an escort lead them to the conclusion that they shouldRead more
“Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood.”
The inciting incident does not have causal relationship with the goal the protagonist sets. How does killing an escort lead them to the conclusion that they should go on a crime spree?
Besides that, what’s the conflict? What are the stakes? The logline doesn’t describe a plot, it describes a few events.
See lessAfter years of forced thievery under his older brother, a repentant young burglar sets out to make amends with the people he’s wronged.
What are the stakes? What happens if he fails? The logline hints a conflict but doesn't describe one. What will be seen on screen? Film/television are visual mediums, what is happening on screen? Is he just driving around talking to people and giving stuff back?
What are the stakes? What happens if he fails? The logline hints a conflict but doesn’t describe one. What will be seen on screen? Film/television are visual mediums, what is happening on screen? Is he just driving around talking to people and giving stuff back?
See lessWhen summer comes and there is no more football to take up his time, a suddenly outed jock must adopt the ‘Gay Best Friend!!’ identity so he get a girlfriend so his parents won?t suspect he is gay.
This version of the logline still suffers from most of the problems of the previous version. It doesn't introduce any real stakes, it describes a plot that relies on outdated tropes. Once again, what's stopping him from just asking a girl out if that's what he wants? Why does it matter that his pareRead more
This version of the logline still suffers from most of the problems of the previous version. It doesn’t introduce any real stakes, it describes a plot that relies on outdated tropes. Once again, what’s stopping him from just asking a girl out if that’s what he wants? Why does it matter that his parents don’t find out he’s gay??
I suggest referring back to the previous thread.
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