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After a police station is attacked, a supernatural mercenary in custody must work with mundane cops to defend it from a group of faeries seeking the powerful artifact she stole.
Hello Nir Shelter, thanks for the response. No, it's not. First, the story changes between two different perspective characters, the mercenary's partner is outside of the station working on a different part of the job. So it cuts between those two, and also the first act is of the interrogation andRead more
Hello Nir Shelter, thanks for the response.
No, it’s not. First, the story changes between two different perspective characters, the mercenary’s partner is outside of the station working on a different part of the job. So it cuts between those two, and also the first act is of the interrogation and the police trying to figure out what’s going on. Then the second act is the fight. While the set up is like “The Terminator” as I said, the actual fight is like “Die Hard”. The fight takes up the second act, and then in the third act she’s out of the station and has to complete the mission of getting the object to her client.
My thinking is that the mercenary described in the logline has some sort of object to protect, and her partner is protecting a person. And they are both sought out by the Fae.
I don’t have an apt comparison for the third act, because I haven’t completely planned it out yet. Maybe it will be like “Logan” (2017).
See lessAfter a police station is attacked, a supernatural mercenary in custody must work with mundane cops to defend it from a group of faeries seeking the powerful artifact she stole.
Dpg, since you've worked with police, I have a few details to ask about.Like above, I mentioned that I researched the difference between precinct and station. I know that in television and movies the building is referred to as a precinct, but what about in your experience? Also, since you worked inRead more
Dpg, since you’ve worked with police, I have a few details to ask about.
Like above, I mentioned that I researched the difference between precinct and station. I know that in television and movies the building is referred to as a precinct, but what about in your experience? Also, since you worked in a city, how big were the stations? How many officers would be in the station in the middle of the day? Or at night?
Also, about interrogation. I’m curious about the details of a person who is in custody but hasn’t been charged. How long can they be held, and under what circumstances would the police be able to hold them without charging?
That’s all I can think of for now, but if you have any other details or thoughts I welcome them.
Here’s some details, if they will help:
There’s a detective who has been hunting after the protagonist for about a year. He has no concrete evidence but when they find her unconscious in a building that was damaged, she had weapons and equipment that indicate she’s the one he’s been looking for, associated with the deaths of multiple people, who’s bodies were taken soon after the police took them.
In other words, is it plausible that the detective would be able to hold her for at least twelve hours with no charges and evidence that both indicates she was the murderer and other, more evidence that she isn’t? (such as, rock-solid alibis, in other words, she’s a pro and she doesn’t leave behind anything that can lead to her.)
Thanks in advance.
See lessWhen summer comes and there is no more football to take up his time, a suddenly outed jock must adopt the ‘Gay Best Friend!!’ identity so he get a girlfriend so his parents won?t suspect he is gay.
"Coming of age stories do not have such monstrous stakes." It's your story, you can do whatever you want with it. Coming of age stories do not set what the stakes of the story are.?What about Harry Potter? Star Wars? There are many coming of age stories that are mixed with other genres?that inherentRead more
“Coming of age stories do not have such monstrous stakes.”
It’s your story, you can do whatever you want with it. Coming of age stories do not set what the stakes of the story are.?What about Harry Potter? Star Wars? There are many coming of age stories that are mixed with other genres?that inherently bring monstrous stakes to them.
See lessOf course, you’re free to take or not take any of the suggestions given to you. If you don’t want your story be like my version, that’s of course your choice.
I’m not saying that you have to have stakes such as he’ll be killed our something, but like dpg said, there needs to be conflict, something the audience can hang onto.
The point of my posts is, the logline doesn’t in any way say?why?there’s conflict. It gives no indication at all why the protagonist would be so afraid of telling his parents that he goes and gets a girlfriend to fool them. That may be a common occurrence among homosexual teens, they’ll try to ‘fit in’ and act straight even when they know. But stories aren’t about common occurrences. They’re about escapism, about extreme scenarios that only get worse. That creates drama.
I recently watched “The Edge of Seventeen” starring Hailee Steinfeld and Woody Harrelson. Most teenagers likely go through a number of the scenarios played out in the film, including myself. Yet the situations are taken to the extreme, piled on and on and cranked up to 11. The story is relatable yet, for most people, it has just enough to turn it into entertainment and not a retelling of their life with different people.
Basically it boils down to: What happens if the parents find out? That’s what the logline needs to outright say or heavily imply. It can be implied by giving the parents a description, such as homophobic or extremely conservative.
That doesn’t even answer the question of: Why does he need to adopt this persona rather than just asking a girl out?
And, besides all of that, what’s the hook? What separates this story from all of the other stories like this?