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Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.
On the other thread Nir Shelter said, " The second one works better, it places the story with in a known frame work for a producer to make sense of ? beginning, middle and end." in response to : "A FBI profiler must use evidence from a fresh body to find?a cannibalistic serial killer before he killsRead more
On the other thread Nir Shelter said, ” The second one works better, it places the story with in a known frame work for a producer to make sense of ? beginning, middle and end.”
in response to :
“A FBI profiler must use evidence from a fresh body to find?a cannibalistic serial killer before he kills again.
?or:
When a body is found with its organs cut out, a FBI profiler must use the clues to find the cannibalistic serial killer he?s been chasing.”
As I said on the other thread, both contain the hook, and as DPG noted both contain the inciting incident, one is just implied rather than stated. ?But I like the first one better, it’s shorter, it serves up the hook, and it tells what the story is about. It doesn’t explicitly say that “when body is found, FBI profiler must….” but it is implied that the body was found before he(Will Graham) starts searching for the killer.
And also, “However, I would argue that the vast majority of producers would want to see an inciting incident”
But is that true? Has anyone ever pitched to a producer and been denied for not having an inciting incident here? Or has anyone asked a producer what they think? Anything?
Because if that’s the case, that again brings up the question that started this discussion- Why is this one of the few?sites out many that give advice on loglines that pushes the idea that an inciting incident is mandatory? If it’s true then why has no one else picked up on it? You’re not selling the concept on it’s inciting incident, but on its hook, characters, mostly, and then plot.
So based on my two responses, the question boils down to: Do you really need to include the inciting incident? And if so, do you need to use a set formula?
My own opinion is that I think the the second question is the one that leans more toward ‘no’. I personally use inciting incidents because I write loglines before the story, helping me get as much down as I can before I start. But as DPG said, the hook is the really essential part: Why does an audience want to see this story? What’s new, cool, unique about it?
See lessBased on real events, in 1984, when a black, gay political activist is arrested, facing painful rejection from within his own party, the death penalty and HIV; he lobbies the ANC to include a clause to the new Constitution, making it the first and only African nation to ban discrimination based on same-sex sexual orientation.
Nir Shelter: I don't necessarily have an opinion either way. I think this idea is sold on the idea that's a true story, and thus the logline doesn't have to adhere as closely to logline conventions. I also think that he could add one-I'm not against the idea, I just think it might not be in serviceRead more
Nir Shelter:
See lessI don’t necessarily have an opinion either way. I think this idea is sold on the idea that’s a true story, and thus the logline doesn’t have to adhere as closely to logline conventions. I also think that he could add one-I’m not against the idea, I just think it might not be in service the story he’s trying to tell.
Either way, I think it works.
After his wife gives birth to a stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist the help of the state?s only necromancer to resurrect his daughter and break a generational curse that will kill all the female children born into the family.
?When he discovers his unborn child is to be a girl, a wizard must track down and capture the villainous necromancer to remove?a curse that?s killing his female offspring? Interesting idea. However, in your post you say the wizard can resurrect people, but that's the point of the story: he can't, soRead more
?When he discovers his unborn child is to be a girl, a wizard must track down and capture the villainous necromancer to remove?a curse that?s killing his female offspring?
Interesting idea. However, in your post you say the wizard can resurrect people, but that’s the point of the story: he can’t, so he has to get someone’s help. And in your suggestion, at least in any story I’ve read, necromancers can only deal with people who are already dead, which means that cursing someone living is out of their power(so just replace necromancer with sorcerer, wizard, whatever). Unless it’s different in Lorato’s version.
See lessAs to whether the daughter is dead/about to be born, I don’t think it matters much. The stakes are the same: can he save his daughter-and somehow by extension-and the rest of his female bloodline? I can only take a guess that Lorato’s idea is that the resurrection is very thing which breaks the curse.
Anyway, I hope this helps.