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After his wife gives birth to a stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist the help of the state?s only necromancer to resurrect his daughter and break a generational curse that will kill all the female children born into the family.
"After his wife gives birth to a stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist the help of the state?s only necromancer to resurrect his daughter and break a generational curse that will kill all the female children born into the family." I like this version's idea. But the length needs to be trimmedRead more
“After his wife gives birth to a stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist the help of the state?s only necromancer to resurrect his daughter and break a generational curse that will kill all the female children born into the family.”
I like this version’s idea. But the length needs to be trimmed.
After his daughter is born stillborn, a wizard has three days to enlist a necromancer’s help to resurrect her and break a generational curse which kills female children of his family.?(32)
See lessI managed to cut ten words from your attempt.
Based on real events, in 1984, when a black, gay political activist is arrested, facing painful rejection from within his own party, the death penalty and HIV; he lobbies the ANC to include a clause to the new Constitution, making it the first and only African nation to ban discrimination based on same-sex sexual orientation.
I don't disagree with you. I don't think that you shouldn't include an inciting incident, I just question how much it matters if you do. Either way, I usually form a logline before starting to outline, so it helps to include the inciting incident to give me as much of the story as possible. I do agrRead more
I don’t disagree with you. I don’t think that you shouldn’t include an inciting incident, I just question how much it matters if you do. Either way, I usually form a logline before starting to outline, so it helps to include the inciting incident to give me as much of the story as possible.
See lessI do agree that the hook is the essential part. Because that’s really what a logline is, telling what the story is about in order to sell it.
But the real question is whether something like:
A FBI profiler must use evidence from a fresh body to find?a cannibalistic serial killer before he kills again.
?or:
When a body is found with its organs cut out, a FBI profiler must use the clues to find the cannibalistic serial killer he’s been chasing.
Both are a rough idea of the Hannibal TV series, Both have the hook: the cannibalistic serial killer, Hannibal Lecter by name. ?Now, ignoring the fact that any story based on Hannibal Lecter would be sold on the fact that it’s a story about Hannibal Lecter, would the second one really be received better solely because of its inciting incident?
(I think I had something else to say, but I’ve forgotten now)
On another note, where do you find these loglines? Are they the official loglines actually used to sell the story?
Based on real events, in 1984, when a black, gay political activist is arrested, facing painful rejection from within his own party, the death penalty and HIV; he lobbies the ANC to include a clause to the new Constitution, making it the first and only African nation to ban discrimination based on same-sex sexual orientation.
I agree with the above comments. I just want to add something else: this is the only site that I've seen that pushes the idea that you need to include the inciting incident. Some other sites use examples with them, but then they have others without an inciting incident. I've just become curious whyRead more
I agree with the above comments. I just want to add something else: this is the only site that I’ve seen that pushes the idea that you need to include the inciting incident. Some other sites use examples with them, but then they have others without an inciting incident. I’ve just become curious why this seems to be the only place that seems to have declared them mandatory.
See lessIn response to Nir Shelter, though, it does seem as though Gstar is trying to adhere as closely to the actual events as possible, so it doesn’t seem like changing the story just to include an inciting incident just for the logline suits the goal.