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The acrimonious break-up of the house couple sparks a cold war between the men and women living in a student house in 1980s Manchester (UK).
>>>sparks a cold warThat's a predicament, a situation for a plot.? But the logline doesn't follow through with a plot..? And a logline is a concise statement of a plot.And we have no idea who is the protagonist.Who is the protagonist?? What is his or her objective goal?
>>>sparks a cold war
That’s a predicament, a situation for a plot.? But the logline doesn’t follow through with a plot..? And a logline is a concise statement of a plot.
And we have no idea who is the protagonist.
Who is the protagonist?? What is his or her objective goal?
See lessThe true story of how a notorious Jewish counterfeiter saved his life by cooperating with the Nazis in the largest counterfeiting scheme in history.
Nir: I? went back and forth on whether it was necessary to explicitly mention that he was in a concentration camp.? I finally assumed a logline reader would know -- or assume -- the context of a concentration camp.? After all, the film was a German production.? And unlike some other countries, GermaRead more
Nir:
I? went back and forth on whether it was necessary to explicitly mention that he was in a concentration camp.? I finally assumed a logline reader would know — or assume — the context of a concentration camp.? After all, the film was a German production.? And unlike some other countries, Germany has been diligent in fessing up to ugly and dark chapters in its history rather than sweeping them under the rug.?
But I take your point. So:
The true story of how a notorious Jewish counterfeiter in a concentration camp saved his life by cooperating with the Nazi’s in the largest counterfeiting scheme in history.
(28 words)
I tacked on “The true story” because I think it enhances the sales pitch.? It says “I’m not making this up, folks.? It really happened.”? Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it sells better.
Another thing: It was tempting to frame the logline in terms of his leading a crew of other Jewish concentration camp prisoners.? But that’s not technically true.? The counterfeiting scheme was already in progress when he arrived.? He eventually becomes the de facto, if not official, leader because he’s the only one who can deliver the goods. And the stakes on his shoulder are as high as they can get:? death for himself and his fellow Jews if he doesn’t deliver.
See lessWhen a spaceship transporting colonists on a 90 year journey to a distant planet malfunctions causing a passenger to awaken from hibernation early, he must find a way to resume hibernation or die of old age.
CraigDGriffiths:I've? flipped on my earlier position and now agree with you.? Because the story hook is embedded in the "B" story -- not the "A" story.? ? And in my book, the hook is the ace high trump card.? Sometimes playing that card requires transgressing a conventional logline rule.? I think thRead more
CraigDGriffiths:
I’ve? flipped on my earlier position and now agree with you.? Because the story hook is embedded in the “B” story — not the “A” story.? ? And in my book, the hook is the ace high trump card.? Sometimes playing that card requires transgressing a conventional logline rule.? I think this is one such instance.? So here’s my revised take:
Either:
When a spacecraft taking colonists to a distant planet malfunctions waking up a man 90 years early, he awakens a woman to relieve his loneliness.
(25 words)
Or:
When a spacecraft taking colonists to a distant planet malfunctions waking up a man 90 years early, he awakens a woman to relieve his loneliness, blames it on the malfunction, and begins to court her affection.
(32 words)
This story line renders the guy as an unsympathetic character.? Which I guess explains why it took 10 years for the script to launch as a film.? And why it failed to launch at the box office.
But, hey, at leasat the check for the screenwriter cleared the bank.
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