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  1. Posted: May 24, 2016In: Drama

    A father seeks revenge on the internet troll who might have been responsible for his teenage son’s suicide.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 24, 2016 at 3:08 am

    The story is certainly topical. ?The protagonist has a clear motivation. ?And the challenge is difficult enough to create dramatic suspense: ?how do you ID the troll (who operate under AKA's), let alone locate and confront him face to face?What isn't so clear is how he intends to get revenge. ?Sue hRead more

    The story is certainly topical. ?The protagonist has a clear motivation. ?And the challenge is difficult enough to create dramatic suspense: ?how do you ID the troll (who operate under AKA’s), let alone locate and confront him face to face?

    What isn’t so clear is how he intends to get revenge. ?Sue him? ?Press criminal charges? ?Or…??IOW: the father’s general objective goal is obvious, but revenge can take so many forms. ?So I think in this instance the logline would benefit by hinting at the form of revenge he seeks to mete out on the troll.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: May 22, 2016In: Comedy

    When a teenager and his best friend get his father fired they must help him find a job even though he has 2 skills (watching tv and eating)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 23, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    I think there is a potentially interesting story to tell here, but I'm not sure what the point is of this one -- the theme. What idea does the writer wish to explore? ?Theme is external to the content of a logline -- but it implicitly shapes it as it is an integral part of the story proper, or oughtRead more

    I think there is a potentially interesting story to tell here, but I’m not sure what the point is of this one — the theme. What idea does the writer wish to explore? ?Theme is external to the content of a logline — but it implicitly shapes it as it is an integral part of the story proper, or ought to be. ?What is the point of this concept other than to use the father as a comic foil, to play him for a fool?

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  3. Posted: May 20, 2016In: Action

    A civil war tears a family of gods apart causing banishment to their child who is sent to earth to learn to control her powers with the help of a young story writer who one day helps her defeat her corrupt sister.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 23, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    As ?noted by Richiev, it?reads too much like a knockoff of the "Thor" brand/franchise. ? I'm all for more super-hero movies with female leads, but ?other than the fact that the principals are women, ?what makes it ?a fresh, unique story, different from "Thor"?

    As ?noted by Richiev, it?reads too much like a knockoff of the “Thor” brand/franchise. ? I’m all for more super-hero movies with female leads, but ?other than the fact that the principals are women, ?what makes it ?a fresh, unique story, different from “Thor”?

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