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The Jewish Director – A struggling director pretends he’s Jewish thinking it will help him break into the biz.
I agree with FFF that the story needs to indicate the source of conflict.? What is the specific incident or problem that incited him try such a desperate measure and what dramatic problem does his trying to pass as Jewish create?? (And obviously trying to pass is a false ?solution.? It seemingly solRead more
I agree with FFF that the story needs to indicate the source of conflict.? What is the specific incident or problem that incited him try such a desperate measure and what dramatic problem does his trying to pass as Jewish create?? (And obviously trying to pass is a false ?solution.? It seemingly solves ?one problem? only to?creates others that are?even worse.)
Also, if you’re not Jewish ?yourself, I suggest you?tread carefully, do your research.? Hollywood is?heavily populated?by Jews and they are not amused by Gentiles, ?goyim, ?who depict? them through stereotypes and parody.? Just saying.
See lessZen O’Clock (Pilot) – An office lackey buys an alarm clock possessed with the soul of a world renowned self-help guru and takes advice from it on how to improve his daily life.
As FFF said.? A story is not about the solution, it's about a problem in need of a solution.? And any solution the protagonist comes up with so early in the story is a false solution.? Even more so when it comes so cheaply, when it is unearned;? all he had to do was unwittingly by a used clock. ExacRead more
As FFF said.? A story is not about the solution, it’s about a problem in need of a solution.? And any solution the protagonist comes up with so early in the story is a false solution.? Even more so when it comes so cheaply, when it is unearned;? all he had to do was unwittingly by a used clock.
Exactly how does he need to “improve”?his life?? Even if it’s a comedy, he must be in desperate? need of advice to struggle with major life issues that threaten his life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.? And the advice the? Zen O’clock gives must be exactly what he doesn’t want to do, what he doesn’t think he can do.
See lessWhen a young mother encounters a random woman in a crowd, she is mysteriously filled with an unceasing desire to kill her, and must do so before the other woman kills her first.
I suggest? it might help if the logline were to play the concept of a? hate mate against that?of a soul mate to cue readers, help them grasp your story conceit.? For example, something like:After a?woman?loses her soul mate to?cancer, she discovers her hate mate, a woman whom she?has the overwhelminRead more
I suggest? it might help if the logline were to play the concept of a? hate mate against that?of a soul mate to cue readers, help them grasp your story conceit.? For example, something like:
After a?woman?loses her soul mate to?cancer, she discovers her hate mate, a woman whom she?has the overwhelming?desire to kill as strong as her desire was to love.
(Or her hate mate could be a man. Whatever.)
As I posted earlier, I think?the hook of the story is the hate mate concept.??From her overwhelming desire arises her objective goal: to kill her.??The dramatic question is:? will she follow through, will she succeed in killing the hated other? (That the goal is negative?does not disqualify it?from being a valid objective goal.)?
I think you can squeeze a lot of suspense out of the concept.? Best wishes.
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