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A local birdman legend proves true when an uprooted and miserable preteen, in order to protect his new home and family from treasure hunters in search of a hidden fortune, seeks help from a disagreeable and secretive derelict inhabiting an ancient oak tree and finds he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life.
As FFF said. And?statements like?"he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life"? are superfluous -- and vague and relate to?a subjective need rather than an objective want or goal.? (And, anyway,? most stories have a happy ending.) Also as structured the logline presents the protagonist as passive, thRead more
As FFF said.
And?statements like?”he?s rewarded with a new optimism for life”? are superfluous — and vague and relate to?a subjective need rather than an objective want or goal.? (And, anyway,? most stories have a happy ending.)
Also as structured the logline presents the protagonist as passive, the receiver of the solution to his problem —?”he’s rewarded”.? A protagonist needs to be proactive, the agent of his own fate.?( In this scenario, the derelict would play the role of helpful mentor.)
See lessWhen a young urban explorer meets her new boyfriend, she will discover secret locations that could change space and time.
As FFF asked:? what is the main conflict? A logline?should be?a?summary of a plot.? This logline sets up a potentially interesting situation --?but, alas,??not?a plot.??? The plot is about what happens after she discovers the secret locations.? What dramatic problem or threat is created by her discoRead more
As FFF asked:? what is the main conflict?
A logline?should be?a?summary of a plot.? This logline sets up a potentially interesting situation –?but, alas,??not?a plot.??? The plot is about what happens after she discovers the secret locations.? What dramatic problem or threat is created by her discovery?? What must she do about it?
See lessDriven by the loss of his family to terrorism, the creator of pre-birth screening is led on a journey to discover the brave new world he thought he created just might be the nightmare he rallied against in his youth.
I love irony,??especially stories entailing?the irony of unintended consequences, ?so I am intrigued by the notion that "the future ?he helped create?is?the nightmare he rallied against in his youth."Unfortunately,? the ?statement is vague.? There may be the seed of a good story here, but it seems?bRead more
I love irony,??especially stories entailing?the irony of unintended consequences, ?so I am intrigued by the notion that “the future ?he helped create?is?the nightmare he rallied against in his youth.”
Unfortunately,? the ?statement is vague.? There may be the seed of a good story here, but it seems?buried in generalities.??It’s doesn’t tell me specifically what the future nightmare is.? I?And I don’t see?the causal links between?the elements of terrorism?,?the future nightmare,? and pre-birth screening in the logline.? And plotting is all about creating a cause-and-effect links.
As FFF said, what?logline readers in? the industry are looking for is a clearly defined inciting incident, a specific objective goal and a clearly identified antagonist and/or problem.
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