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  1. Posted: February 7, 2016In: Adventure

    A whimsical young woman phases into a fire realm being purged of magic and struggles balancing her world and saving the world of her dreams.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 8, 2016 at 3:22 am

    The logline would benefit from more clarity and specifics.? As written, it's difficult?to decipher what the story is about.? It conceals?and mystifies? rather?than reveal and inform.What does "phases into a fire realm being purged of magic" mean??? What is that about?What specifically is the "worldRead more

    The logline would benefit from more clarity and specifics.? As written, it’s difficult?to decipher what the story is about.? It conceals?and mystifies? rather?than reveal and inform.

    What does “phases into a fire realm being purged of magic” mean??? What is that about?

    What specifically is the “world of her dreams”? ?What does she want to accomplish?? What is her objective goal?? What are the stakes– what does she stand to gain by success, lose by failure?

    And who opposes her?

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  2. Posted: February 8, 2016In: Horror

    Failed documentarian roams the New Mexico mountain hunting a story until he stumbles onto a cult of women crucifying drug dealers to purge sin. He believes he’s found the story of a lifetime if he can live to tell it. Breaking Bad meets The Lottery.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 8, 2016 at 3:15 am

    The logline sets up an interesting ?situation but it?doesn't spell out a plot.?? It establishes what the 1st 30 pages are about but?not what a?script reader can?look forward to in the next?60 that builds upon and follows as a consequence of?the 1st 30. As a result of coming upon these crucifixions,Read more

    The logline sets up an interesting ?situation but it?doesn’t spell out a plot.?? It establishes what the 1st 30 pages are about but?not what a?script reader can?look forward to in the next?60 that builds upon and follows as a consequence of?the 1st 30.

    As a result of coming upon these crucifixions, what does the filmmaker do?? What becomes his dramatic purpose, his?objective goal?? Who becomes his adversary -? who threatens to defeat his achieving of his dramatic purpose?

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  3. Posted: February 6, 2016In: SciFi

    The world’s fate rest on one man with zero combat skills, to save it he has to survive the police, the army and assassins from another dimension who kills without remorse.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 7, 2016 at 9:29 am

    As Richiev said.? What is the inciting incident that forces him -- the one least qualified to fight back -- to be the one who has?to defeat the bad guys?

    As Richiev said.? What is the inciting incident that forces him — the one least qualified to fight back — to be the one who has?to defeat the bad guys?

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