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An assassin couple seeks retirement but their victims thirst for revenge, to find peace they have to kill one more time.
So... if their victims "thirst for revenge", then the assassin couple don't seem to be very good at their job.? Because if they were, their victims would be dead, wouldn't they?Well, I presume you mean their kin or comrades want revenge.? Whatever, the bigger potential issue I see?is:? why should weRead more
So… if their victims “thirst for revenge”, then the assassin couple don’t seem to be very good at their job.? Because if they were, their victims would be dead, wouldn’t they?
Well, I presume you mean their kin or comrades want revenge.? Whatever, the bigger potential issue I see?is:? why should we want to emphasize or at least be interested in the fate of a couple of assassins –professional ?murderers?? Why should we root for them to survive? ?Maybe the killing couple have ?it coming to them — it’s payback time.
Unless the couple only assassinated people who had it coming to them — oppressive dictators, corrupt businessmen, etc.?– but there’s nothing in the logline to indicate that.
Also, a specific antagonist needs to be identified among the many who “thirst for revenge”.
See lessThe true story from 1921 of Nellie Doherty who, after she is kicked off her work team, starts Australia’s first Ladies’ Rugby League. Nellie must overcome not only opposition from all sides but her own fury and anguish at the death of her star-player brother in the Great War.
While I concur with most of Nir Shelter's suggestions, I am not so sure that there is no need to mention that the story is based upon true events.? "Based on true events" can be a selling point?particularly when the plot and/or character?may otherwise seem too incredible.? (Truth being stranger thanRead more
While I concur with most of Nir Shelter’s suggestions, I am not so sure that there is no need to mention that the story is based upon true events.? “Based on true events” can be a selling point?particularly when the plot and/or character?may otherwise seem too incredible.? (Truth being stranger than fiction.)
Residing as I do in the opposite hemisphere about as far from Australia as one can get in a country?where rugby is a? quaint, minor sport, I would be?interested in seeing?the movie knowing that it is based upon a real woman whose? passion for the game was such she dared to defy all the?prejudices?against her sex to play.
(The words underlined indicate the story elements that appeal to me.? None of them relate to the game of rugby. ?I don’t know anything about rugby –?other than the meaning of the word “scrum”, alas .? But my interest is hooked by a true story of? a woman who does the unconventional,? breaks the rules of her social order, who struggles against the expectations and limitations ?imposed upon her by a culture and a game dominated by men. IOW: I sense a story about universal themes that ?transcend any particular time period , country or culture.)
And her?passion for?the game ?is what I would emphasize — her positive emotional motivation?for the game — rather than the negative emotions of anger and anguish (although they certainly may figure in the mix of the character and story).? I think it?should be ?sufficient for a logline that she faces daunting?external obstacles.
fwiw.
See lessIn order to save her abducted daughter, a desperate American expatriate must stop an inexorable Nigerian terrorist from launching a nuclear attack on Nigerian soil.
Agree with Richiev.?? There needs to be a more direct, causal connection between the kidnapping and the bomb threat.? As he does in his suggested logline.? And?I like the plus factor he adds, the ticking clock, only?24 hours to save his daughter.
Agree with Richiev.?? There needs to be a more direct, causal connection between the kidnapping and the bomb threat.? As he does in his suggested logline.? And?I like the plus factor he adds, the ticking clock, only?24 hours to save his daughter.
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