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  1. Posted: August 13, 2015In: Public

    When a move to a new town and a stronger prescription fails to keep her dreams from altering her waking life, an overwrought teenager must learn to accept her bizarre talent and stop a provocateur from exploiting her power to manipulate an unwitting public.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 14, 2015 at 8:04 am

    As others have said. The logline is hiding the game ball -- the nature of "bizarre talent" (related it appears to her dreams) on which the whole plot pivots.

    As others have said. The logline is hiding the game ball — the nature of “bizarre talent” (related it appears to her dreams) on which the whole plot pivots.

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  2. Posted: August 14, 2015In: Public

    When the suicide of Trent Warner is discovered, a group of his friends must fulfill his dying wish by delivering 100 letters he composed before his suicide, in doing so they will discover that Trent Warner?s death is not as simple as the police report makes it out to be.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 14, 2015 at 7:49 am

    It's not necessary to name a character. And Trent Warner is dead so he's not the main character. Who is the main character? What is his relationship to the deceased (friend, relative)? As a result of the suicide -- which seems to be the inciting incident -- what does the main character set out to doRead more

    It’s not necessary to name a character. And Trent Warner is dead so he’s not the main character.

    Who is the main character? What is his relationship to the deceased (friend, relative)? As a result of the suicide — which seems to be the inciting incident — what does the main character set out to do — what becomes his objective goal? Who opposes him? What’s at stake? These are the questions a logline should answer.

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  3. Posted: August 12, 2015In: Public

    As a wildfire advances, an inexperienced deputy sheriff must evacuate his town and protect it from looters.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 12, 2015 at 9:53 pm

    >>So what makes a good man V nature story is a clear and preferably unique danger from a natural force combined with a good antagonist to add complications for the MC. Hmm. Who is the "good antagonist" in "Cast Away", "All is Lost" or "The Perfect Storm"? The principal problem I see with this storyRead more

    >>So what makes a good man V nature story is a clear and preferably unique danger from a natural force combined with a good antagonist to add complications for the MC.

    Hmm. Who is the “good antagonist” in “Cast Away”, “All is Lost” or “The Perfect Storm”?

    The principal problem I see with this story is that it is rather conventional and unimaginative compared to what is happening in real time. As I write wild fires are raging in California and other states in the western United States because of extraordinarily hot summers and drought conditions. Bush fires periodically rage in Australia for the same reason.

    How does this story top the real life drama of those fires? What is there in this story that people will be willing to pay to see that they can’t already get for free on the TV news or YouTube uploads?

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