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After a night of self destructive drinking a boy (Chris) discovers that his girlfriend (Anna) possesses the ability to remain immortal as long as she does not fall in love. As Chris' family life decays, he runs away from home with Anna to show her a life bereft of love is not one lived.
As a general rule, characters shouldn't be named in a logline. Who is the protagonist, the guy or the gal? The focus seems to be on the guy, but, for my money, the girl has the more interesting predicament, would make a better candidate for the main character. She could be fending off suitors for deRead more
As a general rule, characters shouldn’t be named in a logline.
Who is the protagonist, the guy or the gal? The focus seems to be on the guy, but, for my money, the girl has the more interesting predicament, would make a better candidate for the main character.
She could be fending off suitors for decades… centuries — and then finally encounters a guy whom she wants to fall in love in. She decides to take that one chance for true love — even it if kills her.
fwiw
See lessAfter being augmented against her will, a street-girl from a futuristic city must avoid capture by both former allies as well as the wealthy caste — sparking a civil war in which only the strongest survive.
If Katniss Everdeen is not the hero, aka: the protagonist, aka: main character, of the "Hunger Games" saga -- who is? We are so obviously not on the same page as to the definition of basic terms, that I don't know what else to say. Except that by the dramatic conventions of modern cinema, while struRead more
If Katniss Everdeen is not the hero, aka: the protagonist, aka: main character, of the “Hunger Games” saga — who is?
We are so obviously not on the same page as to the definition of basic terms, that I don’t know what else to say. Except that by the dramatic conventions of modern cinema, while struggling to merely survive is a positive goal, it isn’t enough to sell a movie concept. It isn’t enough for a protagonist to escape the clutches of her tormentor, to run away. Eventually she must confront her antagonist (who, btw, is???) in a High Noon showdown, aka: the Obligatory Scene.
I’m not making this up as I go along. And neither are the others, FFF and Nir Shelter. Our concerns are informed by our knowledge of standard industry definitions and expectations.
I think you have a potentially interesting hook. I say potentially because “augmented” suggests something interesting, but I’m not clear as to what “augmentation” is. I think the nature of the augmentation needs to be made more specific.
And I suggest that the story that flows from that augmentation needs to be organic, causal. IOW: don’t throw in a civil war just because you think it spices up the plot. There ought to be a clear, logical, cause and effect relationship between her being “augmented” against her will and whatever happens after that. Plot points should fall in sequence like dominoes.
I, for one, am intrigued — but not hooked. I’m circling around the bait — but not taking a bite.
fwiw
See lessA 10 year old kid recently ran away from an orphanage home suddenly finds his father and it changes his life .
Does he run away from the orphanage to find his father?
Does he run away from the orphanage to find his father?
See less