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A drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
Who is the protagonist, the thief or the addict? Whoever it is should lead off the logline and the action should be described in the active voice, with stronger verbs than "finds himself". Also, the revision sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn't describe a plot. The plot is what happens aftRead more
Who is the protagonist, the thief or the addict? Whoever it is should lead off the logline and the action should be described in the active voice, with stronger verbs than “finds himself”.
Also, the revision sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn’t describe a plot. The plot is what happens after the inciting incident that sets up the situation.
And what is the inciting incident? How did these two get thrown together?
See lessA drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
Who is the protagonist, the thief or the addict? Whoever it is should lead off the logline and the action should be described in the active voice, with stronger verbs than "finds himself". Also, the revision sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn't describe a plot. The plot is what happens aftRead more
Who is the protagonist, the thief or the addict? Whoever it is should lead off the logline and the action should be described in the active voice, with stronger verbs than “finds himself”.
Also, the revision sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn’t describe a plot. The plot is what happens after the inciting incident that sets up the situation.
And what is the inciting incident? How did these two get thrown together?
See lessA drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
As far as I can figure out, the crux of the situation seems to be that the hostage taker is suffering drug withdrawal symptoms at the same time as his hostage victim is going into diabetic shock. But I can't figure out who the protagonist is. And the logline sort of gives away the ending "the endingRead more
As far as I can figure out, the crux of the situation seems to be that the hostage taker is suffering drug withdrawal symptoms at the same time as his hostage victim is going into diabetic shock.
But I can’t figure out who the protagonist is.
And the logline sort of gives away the ending “the ending of this terrible situation is tragic”, something a logline should never do.
See less