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  1. Posted: January 4, 2015In: Public

    A teenaged girl is thrown into a heaping mess with the gathering forces of evil, an axe weilding ghost maniac, and the task of hiding her darkest secret as cursed witch.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 4, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    As Richiev said, she doesn't have a goal, at least a positive one. "Task of of hiding her darkest secret" is negative, reactionary and passive. What is so interesting about watching a character hiding, suppressing her defining characteristic, the source of canny powers and abilities? You can't buildRead more

    As Richiev said, she doesn’t have a goal, at least a positive one. “Task of of hiding her darkest secret” is negative, reactionary and passive. What is so interesting about watching a character hiding, suppressing her defining characteristic, the source of canny powers and abilities? You can’t build a mini-series, let alone one episode, around a negative, or passive goal. The story should always be driven by a main character with a positive goal.

    Maybe she’s a witch and a cursed one. But the plot is a conspiracy against the main characters original intention; it must compel her to be proactive, to use her ‘bewitching powers” for some positive objective goal.

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  2. Posted: January 4, 2015In: Public

    A teenaged girl is thrown into a heaping mess with the gathering forces of evil, an axe weilding ghost maniac, and the task of hiding her darkest secret as cursed witch.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 4, 2015 at 10:57 pm

    As Richiev said, she doesn't have a goal, at least a positive one. "Task of of hiding her darkest secret" is negative, reactionary and passive. What is so interesting about watching a character hiding, suppressing her defining characteristic, the source of canny powers and abilities? You can't buildRead more

    As Richiev said, she doesn’t have a goal, at least a positive one. “Task of of hiding her darkest secret” is negative, reactionary and passive. What is so interesting about watching a character hiding, suppressing her defining characteristic, the source of canny powers and abilities? You can’t build a mini-series, let alone one episode, around a negative, or passive goal. The story should always be driven by a main character with a positive goal.

    Maybe she’s a witch and a cursed one. But the plot is a conspiracy against the main characters original intention; it must compel her to be proactive, to use her ‘bewitching powers” for some positive objective goal.

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  3. Posted: December 31, 2014In: Public

    When an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 3, 2015 at 8:57 am

    Better, but I fear that anyone reading it for the first time will stumble over "part-foetal". So the question is will that hook their interest to read the script to at least find out what "part-foetal" means? Or will it give them an excuse not to read the script? Being by temperament an expect-the wRead more

    Better, but I fear that anyone reading it for the first time will stumble over “part-foetal”. So the question is will that hook their interest to read the script to at least find out what “part-foetal” means? Or will it give them an excuse not to read the script?

    Being by temperament an expect-the worst, glass-half-empty kind of guy, my default position is that folks in the biz, being very busy, easily distracted, are always looking for an excuse not to read a script. So my philosophy is, don’t give them an excuse. Not one.

    fwiw.

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