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When an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.
Better, but I fear that anyone reading it for the first time will stumble over "part-foetal". So the question is will that hook their interest to read the script to at least find out what "part-foetal" means? Or will it give them an excuse not to read the script? Being by temperament an expect-the wRead more
Better, but I fear that anyone reading it for the first time will stumble over “part-foetal”. So the question is will that hook their interest to read the script to at least find out what “part-foetal” means? Or will it give them an excuse not to read the script?
Being by temperament an expect-the worst, glass-half-empty kind of guy, my default position is that folks in the biz, being very busy, easily distracted, are always looking for an excuse not to read a script. So my philosophy is, don’t give them an excuse. Not one.
fwiw.
See lessWhen an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.
As Nir Shelter said. This version of the logline is more compact, but... it contains 3 objective goals: revenge X, rescue Y, and destroy Z. Which one is the most important? Which one drives the entire story?
As Nir Shelter said. This version of the logline is more compact, but… it contains 3 objective goals: revenge X, rescue Y, and destroy Z. Which one is the most important? Which one drives the entire story?
See lessWhen an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.
As Nir Shelter said. This version of the logline is more compact, but... it contains 3 objective goals: revenge X, rescue Y, and destroy Z. Which one is the most important? Which one drives the entire story?
As Nir Shelter said. This version of the logline is more compact, but… it contains 3 objective goals: revenge X, rescue Y, and destroy Z. Which one is the most important? Which one drives the entire story?
See less