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An overzealous father gives up on life after he causes a family tragedy; his selfless daughter battling with her own pain must cling onto her faith to save him.
As Richiev said. "gives up on life" -- what does that mean? That's he going to commit suicide? Or...? "family tragedy" -- vague, uninformative. What exactly did he do? "clinging to her faith" -- again, vague, uninformative.
As Richiev said.
“gives up on life” — what does that mean? That’s he going to commit suicide? Or…?
See less“family tragedy” — vague, uninformative. What exactly did he do?
“clinging to her faith” — again, vague, uninformative.
An overzealous father gives up on life after he causes a family tragedy; his selfless daughter battling with her own pain must cling onto her faith to save him.
As Richiev said. "gives up on life" -- what does that mean? That's he going to commit suicide? Or...? "family tragedy" -- vague, uninformative. What exactly did he do? "clinging to her faith" -- again, vague, uninformative.
As Richiev said.
“gives up on life” — what does that mean? That’s he going to commit suicide? Or…?
See less“family tragedy” — vague, uninformative. What exactly did he do?
“clinging to her faith” — again, vague, uninformative.
“When a daughter witness a murder, the father from the top of the Hells Angels must protect her until the trial.”
I think Richiev's suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter -- there's no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn't try to protect his daughter -- even a Hell'Read more
I think Richiev’s suggestion is on the right track. Each logline element should contribute to the dramatic tension of the story. A father needing to protect his daughter — there’s no inherent conflict, no dramatic tension in that act. What father wouldn’t try to protect his daughter — even a Hell’s Angel father?
There is dramatic tension in protecting his daughter only if it brings the father into conflict with some other relationship or loyalty or urgent need. As well as puts his own life in mortal danger: trying to save his daughter may get him killed.
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